Nowhere Like Home
by Harnette
Summary: Alternate universe where Scott Ryder joins up with Samantha Shepard during the events of Mass Effect 1. Blacklisted and unable to find his place in the galaxy, Scott Ryder finds a sense of belonging among the crew of the SSV Normandy. Meanwhile, Samantha Shepard struggles to reconcile the trauma of her past with the possibilities of a better future.
1. Relay 202

**Chapter One: Relay 202**

Drifting near the outpost guarding relay 202, Scott Ryder stared out the side of an Alliance shuttle. Vibrant blue waves washed off from the relay as a recent arrival entered the system.

"Bringing her up and matching velocity." The pilot announced as she lined up their shuttle. "You're up, Ryder."

The squad caught up with the automated delivery shuttle, matching its speed. Ryder pressed for the side door to open. "Roger that." He answered over the comm.

The recon specialist readied his suit to magnify once he touched the opposite vehicle. A quick burst of his thrusters launched him from hid position. The gap between the shuttles was short but a thrust miscalculation could end bad for him either way.

Ryder came up short of the shuttle and was forced to fire another boost just to catch its tail. His gauntlets latched onto the end of the shuttle's roof with his boots dangerously close to the engines.

The pilot reared their shuttle back, keeping Ryder in her sights in case the worst happened. "You good there, fly boy?"

Scott situated himself atop the shuttle with all four limbs magnified to his speeding metal ride. "Just keeping you on your toes."

"Alright, quit messing around then." Even hurdling through space, he could feel her smirk from behind the front windshield. "Command says they want this cargo identified before it hits Arcturus."

"All this because an automated delivery got here an hour behind schedule?" Ryder moved over to the scorched side door, scrolling through his omni-tool tool for the entry codes. "Back on the Citadel, that usually means the pizza's free."

"Better safe than sorry." She prompted him to continue.

Scott activated the door release, swinging into the safety of the shuttle compartment. He felt the cramped compartment as he bumped into a pile of steel crates. "Alright, I'm in. Scanning the cargo."

"Make sure you cross check the manifest. We don't want any surprises." The pilot reminded him.

Ryder waved his omni-tool over each crate. "Rations, water, rations and... big surprise; more water."

"That doesn't explain the scorch marks on the hull." She chirped. "Weapon damage looks high end."

"You're not wrong. If Geth needed to eat and drink, I'd say they were the ones who hit up this transport." Ryder paused when his scans showed a third of the crates were empty. "We're turning up short here."

"A couple extra-net searches after Eden Prime and suddenly you're an expert." The pilot sped up to stay parallel with the automated shuttle. "Redirect that bird to the outpost. Navy Intelligence will want to check it out."

"Hard copy." Scott leaned over one of the empty crates to reach the navigation console. The holographic display lit up. "Hold on... It's already headed to the outpost."

"... Ryder, I'm looking at the shuttle designation. It says right here: bound for Arcturus."

"And I'm telling you, it's headed for our outpost." Scott brought up the shuttle's flight path. "The console is locked to these coordinates, I can't redirect it."

"This don't sit right with me. I'm calling this in. Ryder, get back on board..." The pilot spoke through their feed back to the outpost. "Outpost two zero two, this is echo four nineteen, be advised: automated shuttle shows signs of damage and was preset to arrive at outpost. How copy?"

The outpost communications operator answered back on the squad frequency. "Echo four nineteen, this is outpost two zero two, good copy. Have contents of the shuttle been identified?"

"Roger that, outpost. Contents look normal apart from a few empty crates."

Ryder squeezed back through the cramped compartment towards the opening. He went about rethinking the amount of thrust needed for the gap when he noticed one of empty crates had been unsealed. Scott craned his head to see inside and found it still vacant. He nearly released his breath when a mechanical noise whirred behind him. As he turned his head to the noise he saw a Geth had stuck itself into the top right corner of the shuttle. It blinked its headlight twice at him just before a red sight line focused in on his chest.

Ryder rolled to the side, avoiding the blast. The tumble sent him crashing into more crates, tightly packed Geth spilling out and hopping across the shuttle.

The recon specialist grabbed crate lid to use as a shield, soaking up the incoming fire as he backed into a corner. "This is Ryder, I'm aboard the automated shuttle heading to outpost two zero two and being fired upon by Geth forces!"

Ryder pulled out his pistol and returned fire at his assailants. He could do enough damage to their shields but their rapid movement made finishing them difficult.

"Ryder!" His pilot called over their team frequency. "The outpost is scrambling fighters to intercept! Get back here now!"

A Geth hopper latched onto his makeshift cover, trying to pull him into the open. "I'm a little busy!" Scott rammed the Geth into the side wall, finishing it with three shots to its headlight.

One of the hoppers landed between him and the exit. His front was exposed for the Geth take aim. Scott wasn't sure his shields and armor could withstand their weaponry from just four feet away. Thankfully, his pilot collided into the Geth in time. Her rifle peppered the Geth's shell as her thrusters cooled down.

"Your schedule just got cleared." His pilot remarked as she fired her thrusters in reverse, laying covering fire. "Let's move."

Ryder followed suit, using the opening to dive back into their shuttle. He collapsed onto the floor as the door shut behind him.

"I owe you one, Andy." Scott breathed out as he regained his bearings.

Andy sat back into her pilot's seat, breaking away from the automated shuttle. "Your sister would kill me if l left you on that bird... outpost two zero two, you are clear to engage hostile."

"Acknowledged, echo four nineteen. Enjoy the show."

Within seconds both soldiers spotted Alliance fighters blasting the enemy shuttle from behind until nothing was left but dust. Ryder joined Andy in the co-pilot's chair.

"What the hell are Geth doing this close to Arcturus?" Andy commented, trying distance herself from their close call. "One shuttle into our airspace is a suicide mission."

"They were headed to the outpost, not Arcturus." Ryder noted. "If they took it down, another attack like that would hit Arcturus no problem."

"I guess it's a good thing they didn't bring some real firepower." Andy tapped away at her console.

The general outpost frequency cracked to life. "Outpost two zero two to all fliers within range; be advised that we're picking up another unidentified arrival coming through the relay. Standby for orders."

The relay came to life as predicted. From within their shuttle, Andy and Scott stared at their new arrival. Two sleek, Geth drop ships entered their space and barreled towards the outpost. As the fighters engaged, nearly half their number was blown to pieces before they could even report in over the airwaves.

"We're going to need bigger guns..." Andy said and they stared at what could spell the end of their outpost.

Suddenly, a frigate dropped out of faster-than-light-travel. As it began its pursuit of one of the drop ships, it called out its presence over a general frequency.

"This is Commander Shepard of the SSV Normandy. We're moving in to assist."

* * *

**Author's notes: **

For the purposes of the story, Ryder's aged is bumped a bit (born 2158 rather than 2163 via the official timeline). I would eventually like to take this story concept into Mass Effect 2 & 3 as a continuation of this, "what if Ryder never left the Milky way?" idea but we'll see. I debated for a while whether to start the story with Ryder's "recruitment mission" or just having him already on the Normandy. I went with the recruitment mission so I could flesh him out a bit more before the story really kicks off.

So if anybody prefers my dialogue-heavy structure with familiar character interactions, that'll start at about... chapter four, I wanna say.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Space Cowboy

**Chapter Two: Space Cowboy**

With one Geth dropship decimated by the SSV Normandy, a lone shuttle could only watch from their weaponless craft as the second dropship docked at their outpost. From what they could make out, the skeleton crew aboard outpost 202 was mounting an admirable defense, however overpowered they might be.

The remaining fighters that helped the Normandy take down the first dropship fell back to patrol the area in the event more hostiles appeared. While Arcturus was notified, the Normandy took charge of the escalating situation.

Samantha Shepard stood in the armory, suiting up alongside Ashley Williams and Kaidan Alenko for their away mission on the outpost.

"Alright team, look alive." Shepard called out. "Joker's going to find us a spot to park so we can climb aboard and help out gun the Geth. Comm chatter shows most of the fighting is by the hangar so watch your fire for friendlies. Any questions?"

Wrex scoffed as leaned back to the lockers, "You sure you don't want to me along, Shepard? No take backs once you're neck deep into Geth."

Ashley stepped forward, rifle lowered. "Alliance soldiers are just as likely to shoot you as the Geth, scuttlebutt... no offense."

Wrex let out a low chuckle. "If they had enough firepower to take down a Krogan, they wouldn't need our help."

"Hey Commander," Joker piped in over the intercom. "I think I found us a way into the outpost."

"I'm all ears, Joker."

"That shuttle pilot hanging around the outpost says she can carry you guys in but it'd be on the other side of the outpost with who how many Geth between you and the survivors." Their pilot explained.

"Is that our only option?" Shepard replied.

"Geth sealed the hangar bay behind them, so yeah." Joker continued. "Unless you prefer ramming the Mako into the station; wouldn't recommend that one though, just putting that out there."

Shepard stared at the floor, clicking her boot heel on metal. The knocking sound repeated in her head until an idea sprouted from her pilot's quip.

She spoke from under her helmet, "Actually, that might work. Garrus, prep the Mako for a drop. Joker, you think you can fastball us through the hangar opening?"

"Uh, not saying I can't, Commander but there's still the little issue of slamming into the sealed hangar. Mako's a tank, not a battering ram."

"So, let's have our new friends get ready for when we come knocking. Patch me through, Joker."

Back on the shuttle, Andy and Ryder had just docked at the outpost. With little in the way of firepower, the marines saddled up a set of assault rifles and went about the commander's plan.

Andy stepped through the airlock as it pressurized, rifle raised to check their corners. "For the record, I have very little faith in this plan."

Ryder brought up the rear, stacking up behind her. "The faster we get to the hangar bay, the faster we can get the situation under control."

Andy followed two meters behind Ryder, speaking in hushed tones. "The first human spectre wants to launch her tank through space at our outpost. You don't think this is crazy?"

"Only if it doesn't work..." He remarked.

The two continued, opting to avoid the service lift and take the stairs. It wouldn't do well to get caught in a tight space if the Geth spotted them. Especially when the point of the plan was to keep the Geth from spreading out.

They arrived at the armory, signs of battle all along the floor, walls, and ceiling. Ryder moved in first, creeping along the right wall. Andy took the left as they inched along, hoping to remain unnoticed. From his sight line, Ryder saw his comrade take a knee and gesture ahead.

Scott froze, crouching down to get a better look. A Geth drone hung high behind one of the doorways opposite them. To their left and right a pair of Geth troopers stood guard.

"I count three." Andy reported over their comm.

"Same." Ryder confirmed. "Drone's fast enough to get away if we don't wreck it first."

"I got you covered." She said as she backed up into position behind a pillar.

Ryder readied an overload charge. "Take the one on your left. We'll regroup on the one to my right once we're clear. Sync?"

"Synced."

The marines confirmed their timing with a simple phrase. As they did, Ryder sprinted towards the drone. The Geth to his right blared as it caught sight of him. Scott dropped the charge at his feet and began firing at the drone.

Back at Andy's position, the left side Geth rushed into place. It barely raised its weapon as Andy crept up behind it and blew at least a dozen shots through its head at point blank.

Simultaneously, Ryder's charge and gunfire dropped the shields of the Geth behind him and drone in front of him respectively. Scott triggered his thruster, bolstering his speed as he slammed into the drone. It smashed into pieces before it even realized combat had broken out.

The remaining Geth was still stunned when both marines regrouped to open fire on it. The Geth collapsed into a pile of fiery sparks.

"Clear." Andy announced.

Ryder went to one of the gun racks, replacing his avenger with a mantis sniper rifle. "You should head on over to the others, get them ready to push. I'll make my way to the hangar controls."

"Scott..." Andy spoke with her helmet having been taken off. Her quiet expression was sculpted like stone against her blonde hair. She waited for him to face her before saying, "Don't die, okay?"

Ryder removed his helmet as well, holding it by his fingertips. "We're gonna be fine, Andy."

"You've said that before."

Ryder felt his chest swell from a memory he had long since pushed away. He secured his helmet back on, speaking through the comm. "Then you know I'm not just saying it. See you on the other side."

Back aboard the Normandy, Shepard and her squad had climbed into the Mako. With the loading bay emptied, they waited for the signal.

"I'm not going to say it's been a honor, Shepard." Kaidan called out from his seat. "Mostly because I really hope this doesn't kill us."

"Have a little faith, Alenko." Ashley chided him.

Joker snapped over the comm, "Hangar doors are open, Shepard! I'm bringing you in!"

Shepard fastened herself to the wheel. "They're playing our song, people. Hang on tight!"

The Normandy surged toward the station, clearing a flight vector for the Mako. With the hangar doors fully open, the frigate began to turn off from outpost. Joker reversed their engines, letting the momentum carry the loosened tank into space. From there, the Mako had all the speed it needed to make it to the target. Shepard peppered the thrusters, slowing their approach.

Aimed dead center at the opening, the Mako bounced through the air pressure field and into the loading bay as it spun on its wheels.

"Alright," Shepard announced, almost astonished the plan went without a hitch. "Time for target practice."

The Mako began mowing down armatures with its heavy cannon and crashing into troopers along the way. On the far side of the hangar, the surviving soldiers pushed to form a perimeter. The battle closed in from both sides, moving in on the colossus equidistant from them.

The Mako rammed the colossus along its front, sliding up its neck and stalling at a forty-five degree angle. The colossus kept the tank locked above it, unable to fire down.

From up and afar, Ryder had a view of the battle through the scope of his rifle. He had picked off over a dozen Geth since the Mako arrived, leaving the bigger ones to the tank. While zoomed, he spotted the tank trapped above the colossus as it peppered the Mako undercarriage with staccato fire. Ryder magnified his view, spotting a loose mechanical joint at one of the colossus' feet.

Ryder radioed the tank from his vantage point. "Shepard, this is Ryder. I can get you a shot on the big guy."

Shepard's voice grunted over the frequency, "Tell me what you need!"

Ryder settled his rifle and squinted through the scope. "Aim that cannon about a meter to your left..."

The Mako did just that and soon after Scott let off a single clean shot. The shot tore through what remained of the joint, causing the Geth to buckle and drop the tank from its clutches. From there Mako bounced until its cannon lined up, point blank with the metal monster's head. With a thunderous boom, the Geth's head was gone and its body crumpled from the blow. The colossus fell onto the Mako, keeping it tied down as the fighting died down throughout the hangar.

"Ryder, we're climbing out of the Mako. Cover us, will you?" Shepard requested.

"I got you covered, Commander." Ryder confirmed. "Your closest safe spot will be on my end, pinging my location now."

Shepard and her squad poured out of the tank, firing and moving towards the hangar control station. They kept a tight formation, letting Ryder pop any Geth straggling behind them for breathing room. When they were too low to cover, Ryder left his post and hurried to meet them by the lower doors.

Ryder readied his pistol as the doors slid open. The three of them rushed through the opening, leaving behind the battlefield of Geth wreckage.

"Everyone okay?" Ryder prompted as he locked the door.

Shepard spoke for the team, "Just some scrapes. Thanks for the assist back there."

"Hey, it was your big plan. I just helped." Ryder admitted.

Ashley chimed in, "Damn, Ryder. If your definition of help was shooting off a colossus' leg then you're gonna make the rest of us look bad."

"Don't sell yourself short, kid. That was some great shooting back there." Kaidan added.

"Commander, are you still there?" Shepard's comm unit blared.

"Major Adams?" Shepard responded. "We fell back to the hangar control station with specialist Ryder."

"Good, we're cleaning up what's left of the clunkers. I need you to secure a data access point the Geth were trying to get into and make sure they didn't get their shiny hands on anything. I'm sending you the coordinates, Ryder can escort you."

"Understood, Major. We'll get it done."

Ryder shared the way point on his display. After a quick check of their weapons and gear, Scott led them through the outpost. Thanks to Shepard's plan, nearly every Geth infiltrator was kept focused in the hangar once she arrived to wipe out them out in mass. The halls were quiet, with only minimal traces of the fighting that was already dying down.

A number of Geth corpses were strewn about the hall outside the data access point. Ryder scanned the door with omni-tool, relaying the codes to open it up. With one final chirp, the doors slid apart.

"Williams, Alenko, cover the entrance." Shepard instructed as Ryder led her in. Pistol at the ready, the two scanned the room for hostiles. "What kind of data do they keep here?"

"It's mostly archived research data the science team uses as reference for their projects."

"Is it anything worth attacking this close to Arcturus?" Shepard asked as she approached the terminal.

"You're asking the wrong guy..." Ryder stood at her side. "Check the entry logs."

The Commander tapped away at the console until she retrieved the most recent log. "Here; about an hour ago. An unauthorized user brought up something called... the Pathfinder Project... what's that?"

Ryder strode over to a corner of the room. "You got me, Shepard... but I think I know how they got in." He picked up a broken off ventilation hatch. "Drone must've flew through the ducts and got what they came for."

Joker came up over the comm unit, "Commander. Major Adams just cleared the outpost. He wants an update on the access point."

Shepard paced the room, "He's in for some bad news then."

"Your think the guy would be grateful he's got the outpost at all." Joker murmured. "Any luck finding out Saren's interest in this place?"

"Not yet." She glanced over at Ryder. "But I have a feeling we'll find out soon enough."


	3. Pathfinder

**Chapter Three: Pathfinder**

After reclaiming his office, Major Adams set about cleaning his overturned space. His usually neatness thrown aside at the mention of a Geth attack. Even his desk was a mess of papers and turned over data pads strewn about. He released a deep sigh after going over the outpost roster and seeing the number of men and women whose families he'd have to inform.

"Major Adams." Shepard stepped gingerly into the room with her helmet removed. "Is this a bad time?"

"Shepard, no please, come in." Adams said as he tucked away the names of his fallen. "Your pilot said you had some bad news. Well, let's hear it."

"A Geth drone used the ventilation shaft to get into your archives. But the only data that was accessed was something called the Pathfinder project."

"Pathfinder?" Adams raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "It figures."

"Care to elaborate, Major?" Shepard propped up an overturned chair and sat across from his desk.

The Major inhaled a long breath, "This was before your time, Shepard. Hell, I had just made officer back when Goyle was our ambassador. You have to understand, the First Contact War was fresh and many in the Alliance were keen on ideas to... catch up with the Citadel species."

"You mean they were looking for an edge in the event things escalated with the Citadel." Shepard repeated. "It's understandable, if a bit impulsive."

"Well, an Alliance attache to ambassador Goyle had the bright idea to start developing artificial intelligence as our 'edge.'" Adams emphasized. "Suffice to say, the project was thrown away and the attache was blacklisted."

"Did the project get any traction before the shutdown?"

"There might've been some proof of concept but no, nothing substantial." Adams continued, "Not unless Alec Ryder found an exorbitant amount of support to continue the project off the books."

Shepard titled her head at the name, "Ryder? As in the same one on this outpost?"

"No, that's Scott, his son. Otherwise known as the ever represent thorn in my side."

The Commander stared in confusion, "I don't understand. He seems as capable as any other soldier I've seen in action, maybe more."

"Not that it's my call but so long as his last name is Ryder, he won't get anywhere in the Alliance." Adams pulled up a quick display of Scott's service record. Several commendations and marks that would normally be the fast track up the chain of command. "He's not much younger than you, Commander, but no good deed is going to undo his father's mistake. Not that'll he listen to me at any rate."

Shepard mulled over the information. It explained why the name Ryder came up so often in the project. If Alec was working with artificial intelligence, it would also explain Saren's interest with the outpost.

"Major Adams, my mission is to chase down a rogue Spectre. Where the Geth go, you can bet he's behind it. And if it means getting closer to catching him, then I'm going to need a copy of that data."

The Major waved his omni-tool at the Commander, "Be my guest."

"I appreciate it." Shepard stood up from her chair, checking her omni-tool to confirm the transfer. "One more thing; I'm requesting specialist Ryder be transferred to my command with the Normandy."

"Come again?"

"You did just say it was a pain to keep him around." Shepard explained. "And if the data my rogue Spectre was after is related to his family then he'll be the closest thing I have to an expert for the moment. Plus, he's good in a fight."

"Well... I didn't expect that." Adams seemed at a loss for words. "Can I be perfectly honest with you, Shepard?"

"I'd rather you were, Major."

Adams let another sigh out, "Ryder's a good soldier. If his father didn't muck it up, he'd probably make a half decent N7."

"I'm sensing a but."

"Call it a hunch but I've seen a lot of marines over my years... Even without being blacklisted, Alliance and him don't make a good fit."

"All due respect, Adams, I think that's for Ryder to decide." Shepard stated firmly before exiting.

The Commander continued her stride, making her way through the outpost in search of the barracks. Thoughts raced through her mind quicker than she could walk. Saren's attack on an outpost so close to Arcturus was bold but clearly a feint for the data he wanted. First Eden Prime and then a relay outpost within human territory. He knows how to keep the Citadel out of his hair, that was for sure.

Then, there was the Ryder family. She had heard the name before, Anderson had brought it up when reminiscing over his N7 years. Nothing noteworthy at the time, another buried secret maybe? Shepard had trouble understanding the issue at heart though, same with Liara. How could anyone be judged by what their parents did or didn't do? After Mindoir, people said Shepard wouldn't be cut out for service with the Alliance but there she was. After Akuze, similar voices brought up the argument, but then there she was, the first human Spectre.

It brought her no small amount of satisfaction, recruiting a ragtag team of unlikely folk that no one would think could do anything. But then, the ball would be in Ryder's court soon enough. And Samantha Shepard could use all the help she could find.

Shepard wandered into the barracks, attentive eyes saluted as she approached. When she found Ryder looking her way, he remained seated on his bunk. His expression seemed bewildered more than anything. He lost interest in the conversation he was having with a blonde woman talking down at him.

"Ryder?" Shepard approached him, able to recognize some features previously hidden by the helmet.

"Shepard." He replied while taking in her emerald eyes and red hair for the first time. "Is there something I can help with?"

"Actually, there is." She ushered him over to the window with a clear view of Normandy. "I'm hunting down the rogue Spectre responsible for the attack on Eden Prime... and my ship has a spot that needs filling. Wanna tag along?"

With his duffel bag secured after nearly an hour of waiting to be cleared, Ryder made his way to the docking area. Dressed in his Alliance hoodie fatigue, he caught no small amount of stares as he finally found himself the one going off station. It was daunting, fraught with anxiety, but also mixed a strange sense of relief. Even as the Normandy promised only danger, he finally felt free.

"Scott!" Andy caught up with him midway through the hall. "Are you sure about this? I mean, I know you're fed up but you've got options."

"Yeah and this one seems pretty solid right now." He smirked. "Isn't this what you said I should do?"

"When I said figure out your life, I didn't mean go after the first attractive redhead that looked your way."

Ryder kept his pace, ignoring the comment. "I've gotta find my own way, Andy. Besides, with things the way they are, I'm not going to walk away from the chance to do the right thing."

"You still haven't changed..." She murmured.

They arrived at the Normandy waiting within the outpost hangar. The stealth frigate was a marvel, outshining any ship or fighter in the room.

Scott turned to his former pilot, "You should know I'm not just saying this... look, this is a good thing."

"Yeah, right. Am I going to be the one to tell Sara?" Andy stated with a knowing look.

Scott considered going in for a hug but settled on a handshake, "Seeing as I'm going to be busy helping the first human Spectre chase another rogue Spectre, that'd be great."

Andy accepted the handshake with a shake of her head, "Of course..."

He continued walking backwards to the Normandy, "Oh and feel free to mention there's a Prothean expert on board. We're probably going to dig up tons of Prothean stuff along the way."

"She's going to kill you." Andy told him over the noise of the frigate.

Ryder stepped aboard the Normandy's ramp as the ship came to life. Halfway up, the Commander stood in her fatigues, waiting for him.

"Ready to get off this station, Ryder?" She asked, nodding inside.

He took his place alongside her, "Lead the way, Commander."


	4. Reporting For Duty

**Chapter Four: Reporting For Duty**

Ryder followed Shepard into the briefing room, finding a seat beside the first human Spectre. Already having met Ashley and Kaidan, Scott was surprised to find the other members of Shepard's council to be so diverse. A Krogan, Turian, Asari, even a Quarian all added into the mix to stop one rogue agent of the Citadel Council.

"Anderson's lead on Geth activity in this cluster was solid." Ashley reported. "As if it wasn't bad enough he was working with the Geth to bring back the Reapers, now Saren's studying AI."

"I've been going over this Alliance project, Commander." The Quarian engineer jumped in, "It's unlike anything my people have seen with the Geth. Early notes seemed to be based around some type of implant to interface with a human brain."

"Maybe Saren needs it to work with the Geth." Shepard offered.

"Turian and human physiology are pretty far apart on the spectrum, Shepard." Garrus explained. "And why research an interface when the Geth already follow Saren?"

"Maybe he's just looking for dirt on the Alliance." Ashley speculated.

"I doubt your Alliance has the teeth Saren's afraid of. But the Council does." Wrex remarked. "Anyone who messes around with AI is either a fool or desperate. And Saren's no fool."

"Commander," Liara interjected. "I think it's very possible that Saren intends to use this technology to parse through the vision you received from the beacon on Eden Prime. Though, I admit, it is difficult to say for sure without more proof."

"Agreed." Shepard replied before turning to the nee recruit, "Ryder, any thoughts on your father's work?"

Ryder took the opportunity to offer what he knew. "From what I understand; my mother was suffering a degenerative disease from her work with element zero. My father was attempting to integrate a smart AI into her body to better fight the disease."

"A smart AI?" Shepard asked.

"It's like the difference between Avina and yourself, Commander." Ryder tried to explain. "Smart AI don't just do as their told, they can self improve and reason."

Kaidan mulled over the information, "Your father was going to put something like in your mother to save her life? That's a hell of a gamble."

"For all we know, this could be Saren's way of bringing the Reapers back." Shepard reasoned. "Maybe after so long, the Reapers need to be transferred to new hardware."

Tali affirmed the possibility, "It's not a bad assumption. My people's experience with the Geth has been similar."

"Well, we still have other leads to follow in Feros and Noveria. Hopefully, we can pick up the trail. Crew dismissed." Samantha faced Ryder. "Gotten the official tour yet?"

"Just my bunk and where to leave my stuff." He quipped.

Joker broke in over the intercom, "The Council's calling in, Shepard. Want me to patch them through?"

Shepard sighed, "Rain check, Ryder... Patch them through, Joker."

The three Council members appeared on the terminal as the room emptied out. Shepard stood with her hands behind her back, awaiting their review of her report.

The Asari councilor, Tevos, spoke first, "Commander, you did well in securing a border against a Geth attack. Well done."

Sparatus, the Turian councilor, waved off the gesture. "But you allowed the Geth to retrieve data concerning artificial intelligence. I'm seeing a problem that began and ended with humans overstepping a boundary."

"Councilor, there were lives at stake." Samantha emphasized. "Every soldier saved was another gun to fight off the Geth. Besides that, I don't see why Alec Ryder's mistakes should reflect on humanity as a whole."

The Salarian, Valern, shook his hooded head, "True as that may be, Shepard, you should know better than anyone what effect one's actions can have."

"And yet you have decided to bring aboard Alec Ryder's son." Sparatus accused. "I cannot fathom as to why."

"Ryder's a good soldier, Councilors. His efforts were vital in helping defend the outpost and I believe he'll be as valuable an asset as Liara has been."

"You have free reign to operate as you see fit." Tevos reminded. "But as always, we're here to provide input."

"Noted. Anything else?"

"Humanity got away relatively unscathed when they last tangled with AI, Commander." Valern warned. "I would highly advise you pursue any related avenues with caution."

With their conversation closed out, Shepard felt another useless debate fade into the back of her mind. She had hoped whatever frustrations led to them ignoring significant portions of her reports were a one time affair. Yet, there she was, debating semantics when Saren was nowhere to be found.

Samantha exited the briefing room to find Pressly talking Ryder's ear off. "... course, I had only met your father the one time."

"Right..." Ryder admitted. "Well, dad had that effect on people."

Pressly continued, "It really is something, don't you think?

"Pressly," Shepard proceeded to come to her new recruit's rescue. "Sorry to interrupt but I'm afraid I owe specialist Ryder a tour of the Normandy."

"Looks like duty calls." Ryder immediately went to the Commander's side. "But thanks for the welcome, navigator."

Dejected, the bridge centered navigator went back to his duties. Shepard escorted Ryder to the lower deck. Men and woman of the Normandy went about their business as the two descended the stairs.

"I appreciate your help there, Shepard."

"Don't mention it. Now how about that tour?"

"Lead the way."

It didn't take long until the tour was finished and most of the faces Ryder met had a name to them. The Normandy was more than just a top of the line stealth frigate, its crew seemed like the only one who could match its capability when it came to hunting down big game like Spectres. Despite some quirks, Ryder felt an invisible string keeping them focused. When he sat back with Shepard at the mess hall, he understood what it was that tied them.

"You have quite the crew, Shepard. I gotta say, I'm impressed."

"Well, you're one of us now, Scott. Just don't let it get to your head."

"I'll do my best. Speaking of, you being a Spectre and all, do you have preference for procedure around here?"

Samantha smirked, "I was never one for procedure. It's still an Alliance vessel but you've got free reign to drop formalities."

Ryder cracked a smile at that. "You know, as much I wanted to take this chance, I don't think I know as much about the first human Spectre as I should."

"I'm sure it'll be in a history book at some point." Shepard dismissed. "What about you, Ryder? Your father's a big name but that doesn't tell me much about you."

"That's the first time I've heard someone say that." Ryder scoffed.

"It shouldn't be." Shepard stated with her arms crossed. "Where are you from?"

"I was born on the Citadel in the early days of humanity coming onto the galactic scene. I spent most of my childhood between stations and ships, though."

"That must've been tough. Any siblings?"

"Just my twin sister, Sara. She's the older by a few minutes but we both saddled into the Alliance when the time came."

Shepard made a mental reminder that both Ashley and Scott had sisters named Sara. Maybe it was a military family thing. "You must've had options. Why the Alliance?"

"Our dad encouraged it, said it'd be the best way to open doors for us. Which I guess is ironic considering his work got us blacklisted."

"I'm sensing a grudge, specialist. Feel like sharing?"

Ryder shrugged, "Our father's work made him pretty scarce when Sara and I were young. It's not much of a grudge if the other person just isn't there."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Still, I'm having tough time figuring out why you'd stay with the Alliance after all that."

"You first," Ryder nodded. "Why stay after Akuze?"

"I suppose that's fair..." Shepard admitted. "After Akuze, I started thinking back to Mindoir and why I joined in the first place."

Ryder's face remained neutral, trying not to push regarding a touchy subject. "I can't imagine that was easy."

"It wasn't." Shepard told him. "I just know I didn't want to be... nothing. I might've had more options but the Alliance offered something I needed. It gave me purpose and kept me moving forward."

"That's... really incredible, Shepard." Scott struggled to say. "And also not an easy answer to follow up."

Surprising herself, Samantha laughed. "At least you're honest. Which, if I can do the same... I think being a Spectre has been a better fit for me."

"Really?"

"Even back when I was just some colony kid, I always wanted to help people." Shepard drew circles with her finger on the table. "And now I can; no qualifications on who I can help or what I should do. Instead of being someone the Alliance wants or doesn't want me to be, I feel like myself; Samantha Shepard."

Scott tried not to stare at her soft, emerald eyes. Where they once had been piercing and focused before, after her confession, they looked friendly.

"I wish I could say I was at that place." Scott said plainly. "I guess I'm still trying to prove that I am or don't have to be the person the Alliance or my father want to me to be."

Samantha snuck a glance at him from behind a strand of her hair. His nervous smile eased the built up tension between them. Just hours ago, he braved a Geth infested outpost on her half-baked plan. He was cool and collected with no real assurance and yet, he managed. Beyond his service record, his family, or his skills, Shepard found something reassuring about his presence. She had told him more about her past than people she had known much longer. Besides a licensed professional, she hadn't told anyone in the Alliance about those thoughts.

She recalled what Adams had told her about Ryder not being a fit for the Alliance. Given how she felt about being Spectre, was he right?

Samantha stood up from her seat. "You seem to be doing pretty well from where I'm standing, Scott."

"I appreciate the opportunity, Shepard. I mean to make the most of it."

"Plenty of opportunity to go around." She told him. "We'll talk again soon."

"My door's always open." He stated.


	5. Poets & Promises

**Chapter Five: Poets & Promises**

* * *

Ryder walked through the stone structures of Zhu's Hope. As he walked out onto the sky way, the Prothean skyline bloomed in the backdrop, the radiant sun bleeding through the gray clouds. All around, colonists went about their business; tending to their wounded after the Thorian's demise. The Normandy's arrival was timely but the colony had already taken as much as they could.

Ryder continued his work on the Mako, ensuring it didn't suffer too much damage after its last fight.

"You should just slap some omni-gel on it." Ashley told him as she scanned over the rails and into the horizon with her rifle.

"Omni-gel is just for the armor. Always have to make sure the insides aren't torn to shreds." He said from the undercarriage. "Wrex, can you lift my side; have to give it one last once over."

Wrex appeared from around the front of the Mako. "Just watch your head, Ryder." With one arm, the Krogan lifted the tank onto its side.

Ryder stood up, activating the flashlight on his omni-tool. He inspected the underbelly, the tire pressure, and kinetic surface of the shields while they were on. All in all, the Mako was clear for duty.

"Alright, you can let go. I got it from here." Ryder turned off his flashlight and channeled a small biotic field. As Wrex released the tank, Ryder allowed it to gently drop back to the ground. He clapped his hands, "Good as new."

"Back on Tuchanka, you'd be lucky if the wheels held together." Wrex told them as he leaned back on a stone pillar. "Feros almost reminds me of home, what with all the broken buildings."

"Is Tuchanka really that bad?" Ryder inquired.

Wrex shrugged, "It's nothing the Krogan didn't do to themselves. Take that for what it is."

"You have to hand it to these colonists, even after everything they're still sticking around." Ashley pointed out.

Ryder sat atop the repaired Mako as he addressed his teammates, "They made it through the Geth, the Thorian, even Jeong's corporate crazy. They're tougher than they look."

"Except Shepard helped them on all three counts. We'll see how they do once we're good and gone." Wrex remarked while polishing his shotgun.

"Wrex is right," Ashley said. "At this rate, if the Alliance doesn't get into gear, there won't be any colonies left to defend."

Ryder thought back to their initial arrival. Shepard has been insistent on getting Zhu's Hope up and running before tackling the Exo Geni building. Even dealing with Jeong, she could've shot him once he pulled a gun on her. Instead, she talked him down and convinced him to double down on the colony's future. Shepard went so far as equipping the whole squad with the nerve gas grenades and had them triple check their gear before getting back to deal with the Thorian.

"It might be a gamble to stay," Ryder said. "But for the colonists, this is home. They're not going to give it up easy."

Ashley smirked, "I didn't have you pegged for an optimist, Ryder."

"I'm just a realist from a different perspective is all." He replied.

"Normandy to Mako team," Joker piped in over their radio channel. "You guys good for a pick up or does the Mako need another shining? Personally, I don't think the colony needs a car wash but I guess it couldn't hurt to have."

Ryder stood up on the tank, flagging the Normandy to their position. "Car wash team is ready for pick up, Joker. I hope you left our business cards."

The Normandy drifted down to their position, lowering its ramp onto the sky way. The ground team headed into the frigate with Ryder behind the wheel of the Mako. Tucked away and secure, the Normandy lifted its ramp and headed for the horizon.

Over the cargo hold intercom, Joker continued his exchange with the specialist, "You know Ryder, if you do decide to leave the Alliance maybe they'll let you be their official vehicle washer. I'd skip on the swimwear though, just some free advice."

Ryder exited the Mako, heading for his locker with a shake of his head. "I'll keep a space reserved for the Normandy if I do Joker."

Ashley removed her armor, back in her fatigues and proceeded to inspect all their returned weapons. "Never thought I'd see someone keep up with Joker like you do, Scott."

Ryder went about removing his armor, slipping back into his usual hoodie, "It comes from years of practice. You don't last very long without a sense of humor when you're family's blacklisted."

"Tell me about it." She assured him. "Dad used to drill me on how to turn the other cheek or get even without getting reprimanded."

"Sounds like solid advice. Would you believe our mom was the one who talked us through how to get chewed out?"

Ashley stopped her inspection, turning to him with a furrow in her brow. "Not your father?"

"Dad wasn't big on us having advantages, he said it'd make people think we didn't earn things ourselves."

Wrex laughed from his usual place beside the lockers, "Your father sounds like a Krogan."

"Well, he did like to fight like one; always butting his head against whatever problem came his way." Ryder told them.

Ashley crossed her arms, "Besides Kaidan and myself, I'm starting to wonder if everybody aboard this frigate has parent issues."

A silence hung between the three of them for a moment, the low hum of the Normandy's engine going off throughout the ship.

"Not much of an issue left if you kill them." Wrex shrugged, breaking the silence.

Ryder chuckled, "I'm surprised you didn't just eat him. Isn't that what you always say?"

The Krogan smiled, "You eat someone small to get them out of the way. Killing is for sending a message."

The Commander stepped out of the lift and into the cargo hold. She made a straight shot to the trio by the lockers, "Everyone getting along okay?"

"Couldn't be better, skipper. How did your report to the Council go?"

"Same as ever; in one ear and out." Shepard confessed.

"We did good work on Feros, Commander." Ryder stated. "Getting the Cipher and repelling the Geth definitely puts Saren in our sight lines. Not too mention what we did for the colony. I didn't see the Alliance or Citadel coming to get them out of that jam."

Shepard smiled, "You certainly know how to boost a girl's ego, Ryder."

"Just stating facts, ma'am."

"Well, keep up the good work... that goes for all of you. I'll be back in a bit during my rounds."

Ryder watched her leave before securing his gear and closing his locker. Ashley, on the other hand, threw a knowing glance his direction once Shepard left. Noticing one last shake of the Krogan's head before he left as well, Ashley walked up to Ryder with suspicion.

"You know, scuttlebutt says Shepard's got a thing for you. I thought you might just be kissing ass but, I gotta say, he might not be off."

"Where did this come from?" Ryder replied.

"Come on," Ashley insisted. "It's no secret the Council and Alliance are giving Shepard a hard time. I'm sure she appreciates having someone in her corner."

"Shepard's in charge; it doesn't hurt to let her know she's doing a good job." Ryder said as he holstered the last of his weapons onto Ashley's table.

"Alright, fair enough." She said with her hands up, "But as the oldest of four girls, it's hard not to notice that the skipper usually finds time to talk to a certain specialist after every mission."

"Shepard always makes her rounds after a mission."

"Still, that's twice now that she's come to talk to you first after getting stone walled by the Council." Ashley leaned back against her station, "Relax Scott, I'm not looking to make a big deal out of this. I'm more just curious if you have any intentions."

He sighed. "Shepard's an easy person to be around. I'm not saying I wouldn't be interested but I'm not looking to complicate things either."

"Well, for what it's worth, I suppose it's not technically fraternization if she's a Spectre."

"I'll keep that in mind." He said as he rolled his eyes.

Ryder made his way to the lift, stepping inside on his way to the mess hall. As the door began to close, Samantha entered as well. The lift started to rise with the two of them as its occupants. She parted her crimson hair to the side, giving him a reassuring smile as the tension between them drifted away.

"Sorry if I interrupted your conversation with Chief Williams, Ryder. I imagine the two of you have a lot in common."

Scott shrugged, "Not as much as you might think... okay, well maybe we do. But, to be honest, she's more like an older sister."

"Isn't Sara already older than you?"

"Older than me by a few minutes which apparently entitles her to an opinion on what I should or shouldn't be doing at all times." He smirked. "It's nice to have a watchful eye that doesn't shove said opinions where they're not wanted."

Ryder's tone was loose and comfortable despite the sensitive topic. Something noticeable was how much he let himself be vulnerable with her while at the same time keeping the flow of the conversation amicable.

"Is there any family member you have that is worth getting to know?"

Scott palmed his eyes for a moment. "Sorry about that. I must sound like a complete jerk; the way I talk about my family."

"Scott, you really don't." She assured him. "You don't know how many times I've had to hear people talk about wonderful or supportive their family is."

"That's a bad thing?"

The elevator door opened as they arrived at the crew deck. Ryder stepped out onto the floor, stopping part of the way out when he didn't hear a second pair of steps follow him.

Shepard, however, was slow to exit, "It is when you can barely remember your own."

Ryder looked back at her, feeling like he had one foot in his mouth. "Hey, don't let people fool you. Every family has their drama, trust me. You're officially invited to a Ryder family Thanksgiving if you want to see for yourself."

She followed him out of the lift, "What, not good enough to bring around for Christmas?"

"Think of it as a warm-up." He answered back. "If you're not sick of us, I'll have a present with your name on it by December."

"I'll have to think of something to get you." Shepard teased.

"You being there will be enough of a present, trust me." He confessed.

Scott swore he had seen a blush under freckles at some point but Sam managed. "Well, now I have to get you something."

"It's a date then- or a promise! That should keep us out of trouble with Alliance brass." Ryder joked.

"What's life without a little trouble?" Shepard said as she began backing away to her office. "See you around, Scott."


	6. Remember to Forget

**Chapter Six: Remember to Forget**

* * *

Shepard tensed as the the Normandy VI scanned her within the airlock. Coming fresh off the dock after just landing at the Citadel, Garrus and Ryder stood at her side, respecting the silence she maintained. As the trio entered the bridge, Shepard hardly acknowledged Pressly being relieved. She was already fast moving to the captain's quarters. 

"Hey, didn't you guys just leave?" Joker called out from the cockpit.

"Shepard needed to go over some mission reports. We'll be out of your hair in a second, Joker." Ryder said, managing to come up with an impromptu cover story.

Joker spun back to his view of the Citadel, "You don't have to do me any favors, Ryder. I'm just catching some shut eye." He finished saying as he tilted his cap forward and closed his eyes.

Taking Ryder off to the side, Garrus spoke to him in hushed tones. "Scott, I'm not... the best when it comes to human... well, anything really. But I don't know how to feel about leaving Shepard on her own after what just happened."

Ryder nodded his head, acknowledging his Turian friend's concern. "I'll talk to her."

"Good." Garrus replied. "I'll just... be here if you need me."

Still in full gear, Ryder followed after Shepard down into the stairwell and past the mess hall. The crew hadn't noticed anything out of place with the Commander's rapid return and retreat to her cabin. Ryder made the effort to make his knocking on Shepard's door as routine as possible, nodding to several crew members as they passed by.

"Shepard?" He called through the door. "Can I come in?"

He heard the Commander approach the door, still locked. Her tired voice spoke volumes, "It's not... not the best time, Ryder."

"I know." He agreed. "That's why I'm here... if that's alright..."

A small beep preceded the door sliding open. Shepard had already walked back to her desk, helmet removed and left by her bedside. On her terminal, images had been brought up of what Ryder assumed was a colony out in the Attican Traverse. The images fluctuated between normal and what looked like the aftermath of a war at the same location.

"Shepard..." Ryder began. "Are you okay?"

"I just needed to clear my head." She explained.

Scott ensured the door behind him was shut. "I know it's not Alliance procedure but-"

"I'm not one for procedure." Shepard finished for him. "I did say that, didn't I?" She turned in her chair and motioned for him to sit on the bed opposite her. "I'm a bit of a mess right now, Scott."

"I think that's a little unfair." He assured her as he sat. "You just talked down a woman from taking her own life."

"She deserved better than what she got."

"That goes for you too." Ryder insisted. "I always see you ready to put yourself on the line for people. You don't give yourself the same time of day."

"How can I?" Shepard questioned. "Between hunting Saren, running this ship, and being the Alliance poster child for survival against the odds; when exactly am I supposed to fit in 'me time?'"

Ryder pushed, "That doesn't mean you're not worth the effort. Look, I've seen you in action. I know you're not the type to break easy. But I've seen you cope down the barrel of a rifle. What happens when we're out of things to shoot?"

"That's a good question." Shepard stated. "I suppose I'll have to go back to my therapist and see if I'm unfit for duty."

"Sam, I'm being serious."

"So am I." Shepard responded. She moved her chair to allow Ryder a view of her terminal. "These are images of Mindoir, before and after the attack. I have to remind myself they're real or else... I'll forget."

"I don't follow." Scott said as he tracked the shifting slideshow.

"I told you when I joined the Alliance, I didn't want to be nothing." Shepard recalled. "I thought if I forgot what happened at Mindoir, that I wouldn't ever be able to make up for it."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"No, it wasn't." She agreed. "But every day I'm out there is another chance I can prevent another Mindoir."

Ryder pulled the Commander to her feet with a comforting touch. "Sam, you're human, not a machine. Using Mindoir as a memory to do good; that's inspiring. But weighing yourself down until you drown; that's suicide."

Samantha offered a weary smile, "That's the thing about memories, Scott, they're not perfect. I know mine aren't. Past the trauma and loss; all I see is what could've been. It's the only way I know how to see myself through it."

"What about just being alive, Sam?" Scott asked, quick to continue. "Forcing yourself to remember every detail, that can't be living."

"There are aliens with near perfect memory, Scott. They seem to be alright."

"And are you?" He prompted her. "Is this what you want?"

Shepard glanced back at her terminal, struggling to not to break eye contact. "It's not... but what I wanted stop mattering a long time ago."

"Not while I'm around." Scott scolded her as he proceeded to shut off her terminal.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you forget." He said simply.

"Ryder-" Shepard tried to say with some amount of seniority.

"Consider me your reality check." He told her while blocking the path to the terminal. "If you need a reminder that bad things happen in the galaxy; I'm happy to oblige."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By reminding you that for every bad situation we've come across... you've fixed it." Ryder clarified.

Shepard was taken back by the statement, trying to reason with him. "Be real, Scott. There are millions of people out there."

"I'll pick up the slack for any stragglers."

Staring down Scott, she couldn't believe just how fast she had about forgotten the images on the terminal. With a few words, she felt herself recognize the burden she wore. And yet, with just one person telling her to put it down, it already felt lighter. But she was his Commander, it should've been reversed.

Shepard had to fight off the smile from his last comment before addressing him with her usual authority. "Ryder, what about you want? I'm not pulling you into my problems."

"What I want is to be right where I'm standing." He replied confidently. "With all the good you do, the least I can do is help you do it."

Desperate for the support but still clinging to her selfless mandate, she folded her arms. "Are you sure this is what you want? There are better ways to spend your time."

"I'm sure." He repeated before adding something to lighten the mood. "Plus... I like seeing you smile."

Caught off guard, Shepard felt her blood begin moving throughout her face. Not one to be outdone, she retaliated with a wicked smirk. "Then I guess you better get back to work, Specialist."

"Right away, ma'am." He said as he delivered a loose salute. "I'll just wait by the bridge."

As he exited, Shepard considered looking back into the terminal again. The light flutter in her chest fought off the inclination as she retrieved her helmet from the floor. Securing the helmet onto her suit, Samantha felt herself move with renewed purpose. While the scars and memories remained stained into place, she felt a faint warmth envelope the pit in her heart where they slept. She couldn't truly forget them. But she could try and remember what it was like to simply live.

* * *

Hello! Just figured I'd put a quick update on things here. I meant for there to be about ten chapters but felt the need for this scene aboard the Normandy as well (hence why it's shorter than some of the others) so it'll probably be closer to eleven chapters for the story now, assuming I don't feel the temptation to add another chapter again. I just felt like Ryder and Shepard needed this scene before things developed further in their relationship and I didn't have the space to drop it into any other chapters.

It's been interesting to take two characters that the player is supposed to impose personalities on and have them form this relationship. If I'm being honest, it feels a little self indulgent. However, it's helped to view Ryder as just another companion for Shepard to recruit and watch what type of role he would play in her entourage. Like many video game protagonists, Shepard to me, has always had this ability to raise others up in some way. In this instance, I see Ryder as someone who could flip that on her and allow her a chance to breathe as a character more (similar to how Liara asks how Shepard is doing after Lair of the Shadow Broker dlc. A small moment but great for roleplaying).

Thanks so much for anyone reading or leaving a review, it's always appreciated and means a ton.


	7. Like Family

**Chapter Seven: Like Family**

* * *

Coming off the elevator, music still echoing in their heads, Shepard and her squad walked out into the C-Sec lobby. Before she could begin making her way down her list of errands, Sam was ambushed by a reporter.

"Commander Shepard! Shepard! Humanity has questions!"

Shepard couldn't avoid eye contact in time as the reporter hurried her way, camera in tow. The Commander released an annoyed sigh, like a dug in tick was sucking at her blood. She waved off her team and tensed as the camera encircled her.

Ryder and Tali wandered away from her, finding a place not too far from the ongoing scene in front of them.

"I can't imagine how Shepard puts up with all of this." Tali remarked, hands folded over her lap as she found a seat. "It seems like everywhere we go, someone puts her on the spot."

Ryder leaned back against an adjacent wall, "Seriously, how's someone supposed to work with all these interruptions?"

"Meanwhile, Saren is out there, doing as he pleases."

"Galaxy's a big place. Scott remarked. "But we'll find him."

"Scott!" A voice shouted from across the lobby. Ryder stood up straight, searching for the source. He spotted her marching toward him from the Presidium elevator.

"Great..."

"Someone you know?" Tali craned her neck to see past him.

"More than I'd like to..." He murmured as the woman finally stood face to face with him, heels dug in and arms folded right. "Hey Sara, what's up?"

"That's it? You get transferred under the first human Spectre out of the blue, without a word and that's all you have to say?" His sister fumed.

"You're acting like I didn't have Andy pass along what happened. Plus, I left a message with mom."

"Mom's in the hospital, you idiot." Sara explained. "She's not doing great."

Before Scott could muster a response, Shepard returned from her surprise interview. "Damn journalist and her snide insinuations..." She muttered before encountering the other Ryder twin. "Everything okay here, Scott?

"Sorry, Shepard. This is my sister, Sara."

Shepard nodded, "Nice to finally meet you." She added, noting the family resemblance. "What brings you to the Citadel?"

"It's our mother..." Sara told her. "She hasn't been doing so well, even with all the Citadel doctors our dad drags to her bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Shepard offered before turning to Scott. "We can take a shuttle there if you need to see her."

"I'd appreciate that, Commander." Scott replied. "Sorry about the detour."

"It's alright, Scott. The Normandy's taking time to refuel. We'd be still waiting after any errands I would've run either way." Shepard assured him.

"She's been admitted to a hospital on the Presidium." Sara pointed out. "We can still make it before visiting hours end if we hurry."

The ride up to the Presidium was tense with four passengers tightly packed in a standard transport vehicle. After helping Wrex retrieve his family armor and Garrus find his run-a-away Salarian, Shepard saw it as just another favor to her squad. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder what could be going through Ryder's mind at the moment. With no battle or shootout to distract her, she thought back to those desperate moments back on Mindoir.

Having just survived sprinting through a field of crops while slavers launched their charged nets at her, Samantha's feet felt torn open. The taste of copper, coated her lips after watching several friends get blasted away by a grenade. Bursting through the door to find her parents not gone, but reduced to splatters on the walls of her home. The anxiety of not knowing until realization set in.

"Shepard?" Tali called out to her out of concern.

Samantha shook off the flash back with a roll of her neck. They were standing in the hospital lobby as the Ryder twins were checking in. "Sorry Tali... You were saying something?"

"I was just saying how difficult it must be, for Ryder." Tali stated. "On the Flotilla, our greatest fear is not having enough resources to stay warm, fed, or healthy. It's one thing to lose someone you care about suddenly. It's different watching them drift away... and all you can feel is helpless."

"Regardless of how you lose someone, it's never easy." Shepard replied. "It takes time to heal the space they left behind. But at least Ryder has this moment. That's more than some can say."

"That's true." Tali admitted. "Still, Scott always seems so... collected. I don't think I've ever seen him so anxious."

"You think I should talk to him?"

"It couldn't hurt to stay close." The Quarian continued, "He smiles more when you're around."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at her squad mate. Tali was quick to backpedal on her statement soon after. "Oh, I think I see a kiosk with... Dextro-based chocolate... see you later!" And she hurried away.

Approaching the receptionist desk, Shepard caught wind of the conversation.

"I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." The Asari told the Ryder twins. "You'll have to come back later."

Sara pressed the issue, "Can you make an exception? I was just in there earlier today and my brother is on assignment. This might be the only chance she has to see him."

"I'm sorry ma'am but I can't."

"Excuse me," Shepard cut in between the twins to address the receptionist. "Specialist Ryder here is on assignment with my ship for the Citadel Council. I apologize for not calling ahead to clear up the issue but the nature of our work makes it difficult to know the next time we'll make port." Samantha explained with professional courtesy dripping off her words. "Is there anyway he can see his mother before we have to ship off again?"

The Asari took a step back, "You work for the Council?"

"I'm a Spectre, actually. Command-"

"You're Commander Shepard? The first human Spectre?" The Asari fumbled with her hands, uncertain of the correct protocol. "I suppose if you're on important business for the Council..."

"We won't be long." Shepard assured her. "I can personally escort the two of them during their visit if you prefer."

"I'd feel a lot better if you did." The receptionist stated as she provided the three visitor passes. "Spectre or not, just be back before my shift ends."

"Thank you." Scott said as he retrieved his pass last. He turned to Shepard as they stuck the pass onto their clothes. "The Shepard charm never fails, does it?"

Happy to see him crack a smile again, Samantha responded in kind. "Just hope you don't end up on the wrong end of it someday, Specialist." She finished with a wink.

The trio proceeded down the hall to Ellen Ryder's floor and room. With Sara leading the way, they made it to the right room in no time at all. Already having left their weapons at the initial checkpoint, Shepard opted to wait from the hall as the twins entered.

Scott moved with caution, craning his neck to see if she might've been asleep. His feet followed as he noticed his mother with her eyes closed, nodding her head to the nearby sounds chirping in from her beside radio.

"Mom?" Scott addressed her as his sister took an open seat by the bed.

Ellen opened her eyes to find both her children in front of her. "Scott... you're here."

Scott walked around the bed, standing over his mother as she reached her hand out. Taking hold of her fragile grip, Scott leaned in for a mutual peck on the cheek.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"It's not so bad, really. I feel fine." She assured him before pointing to the radio. "The nurse was nice enough to let Sara bring me your old radio."

"Nothing good on T.V.?" Scott smirked.

Ellen shook her head, "Do you remember when Sara would have baseball practice after school and you'd be the first person home? I could always tell when you were around when you had your music on."

Scott offered a sympathetic smile. "Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"Scott, you were light years away and on the move. I wasn't going to call your commanding officer and have her turn your ship around just to see me like this."

"Still, you could've said something. I had to find out when Sara ambushed me down by C-Sec."

"I thought I told you not to give your brother a hard time?" Ellen chided her daughter.

"I didn't!"

"She called me an idiot." Scott snitched.

The exchange brought a laugh from Ellen's chest. The strain sent her into a brief coughing fit before she relaxed again.

"You two never change." Their mother told them. "Promise me you'll be there for each other when I'm gone."

"What happened to 'feeling fine?'" Sara stated with disbelief.

"I won't always feel fine... You're both old enough to know that. And your father, you know how he can be."

"Speaking of, where is dad?" Scott inquired.

"He said he needed to speak to someone on staff." Ellen recalled. "Would you two mind finding him before he gets into trouble?"

"Yeah sure, mom." Sara promised. "Come on, Scott. Let's split up."

Scott followed after his twin, slowing down as he passed Shepard. "We'll be back in a few, Shepard. Shouldn't be much longer."

"Don't worry, I called Tali while I was out here. Garrus and her are going to get a head start on some errands. We're good on time, Scott."

Shepard waved him off and watched him hurry along the corridors. Her gaze lingered even as he disappeared behind a corner. Alone with her thoughts, she thought back to Tali's words. Was the reverse true as well? If the awkward pit in her stomach was any indication, she might've been onto something.

"Mind keeping me company?" The voice from inside called to her. Shepard peered back through the doorway to find Ellen Ryder leaning forward, soft grin facing out.

Samantha stepped into the room hesitantly, "As long as I'm not a bother, sure."

"Not at all." Ellen said she fell back into her pillow. "So, you're Commander Shepard."

"It's nice to meet you, ma'am." Samantha managed to force out.

"Just Ellen, please." Ellen gestured to the chair that Sara had occupied. "Samantha, is it?"

"It is." Sam took the invitation to sit. "How are you holding up? If you don't mind me asking."

"Honestly, this is one of my good days." She admitted. "But enough about me. You're the one who turned a frigate around just so my son could visit."

"Actually, we'd already docked at the Citadel when Sara told us." Shepard confessed. "But even if we didn't, I make frequent trips to the Citadel between assignments.

"That doesn't explain why my son's CO felt the need to accompany him all the way here."

"A good crew is like family." Shepard revealed. She remembered being comforted by those words when she first studied the Quarians. The sentiment helped her through mourning Mindoir and motivated her to join the Alliance. Meeting Tali cemented the idea even further. "I can't expect them to be there for the team if I'm not there for them."

"Then my son is lucky to be on that team."

"The feeling's mutual; Scott's a valuable member of the crew."

Ellen eyed the Commander with a quick glance, "And what's this about coming over for Thanksgiving?"

Shepard blushed, avoiding eye contact. "I didn't realize he had mentioned it already."

Ellen snickered, putting only a slight strain on her body, "It's no trouble. Alec and I would be happy to have you. It's just that Scott never brings anyone to see us. There was one girl, Andy, but they had met through Sara."

"Oh, we're not-"

"Relax, Samanatha. You don't have to explain whatever it is or it isn't. I just wanted you to know I'm grateful he has someone looking out for him."

Shepard took a thoughtful pause, "To be honest, these days I feel like he's looking out for me. Any second he catches me doubting doesn't last long if he has anything to say about it." A smile formed just from the thought of his pep talks. "It's a new experience for me."

"I have a hard time imagining the kind of doubts that can slow down an N7."

Much like her son, something about Ellen's presence allowed Samantha to dive back into her memories with ease. Piece by piece, the images that once haunted her seemed to be no more than a lazy river on a calm spring evening.

"I'm trying to stop a rogue Spectre from ending life as we know it and every moment I'm not being shot at, all I can think of is what happens if I fail."

"That's a lot for one person to take on, Samantha."

"Like I said; I've got a good crew." Shepard assured her. "But with my history, I think I'm more afraid that... that I'll be the only one left standing again."

"And a good crew is like family." Ellen repeated. "Sara mentioned your service record."

"I won't be offended if you don't think Scott's lucky to be on my team anymore." Shepard forced a smile.

"Maybe it's lucky for all of us that you two are working together."

"I don't follow, Ellen."

"You're saving the galaxy. My family, as you've noticed, happens to be in it." Ellen pointed out. "For all the good I know they can do, I was never sure if the Alliance was right for my children. Sara always loved to learn and Scott... Scott helps people, even if he has his own way of showing it. If he's helping you, watching over you... it means you're not someone he's going to let fail."

The last sentence she stated while laying her hand on Shepard's. It was as if she was entrusting her own blood with someone else, confident that her trust was rightly placed. Samantha thought to herself, if Scott was in her hands, she might do more than watch him.

Back out in the hall, the Ryder twins had regrouped with no sign of their father.

"Where the hell is he?"

"You know how dad can be, Scott. He probably went off to find the administrator. It'd be pointless to hassle random staff."

"He should be with mom."

"Like you were?"

"Don't start with that." Scott replied while still scanning for Alec. "I saw an opportunity to do some good and I took it. Are you telling me you wouldn't have?"

Sara sighed, "It just always seems like your next big shot is anywhere we're not. Am I not supposed to feel some type of way about that?"

"This is different, Sara." Scott said as he fixed himself firmly in front of her. "The reason the Geth attacked so close to Arcturus was because of dad's work. Shepard offered me a chance to help."

Sara paced a few inches from him and back. "Okay, fair enough. And then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"After this, after you've helped cleaned dad's mess; what comes after?" Sara prompted. "Will you still be with the Alliance? Are you staying on the Normandy?"

"I haven't thought that far." He admitted. "I've got a good thing going on the Normandy right now."

"And would that good thing happen to be your commanding officer?" She let the question hang between them like a tight rope. "I know you, Scott. What I don't know is if you're throwing away everything you've worked for because of a redhead with pretty eyes."

"Is that really what you think I'm doing?"

"After Andy... can you blame me for asking?" She simply responded.

"No, but thanks for bringing it up... again."

Scott made his way back to his mother's room with Sara close behind. Seeing no sign of Shepard out in the hall, the twins continued through the doorway. Upon entering, they found not only Shepard but Alec Ryder.

"Sara, Scott... I was wondering where you'd gone off to." Their father said from his wife's side.

"Looking for you, actually." Sara replied with her arms folded.

"I wanted to go over possible arrangements with the administrator for your mother." He explained. "Didn't realize you'd be bringing a Spectre with you, Scott."

"I was on assignment. Shepard was nice enough to get me here." Scott continued, "Speaking of... we really should get going."

"Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back." Ellen assured him before turning to Shepard. "And I'll be seeing you next holiday."

"Wouldn't miss it, Ellen." Shepard nodded for Scott as she left the room.

"Dad," Scott called out. "Mind if we talk in the hall for second?"

Alec squeezed his wife's hand, a quick exchange of smiles before parting. With the three of them out of the room, away from the Ryder women, Shepard let her squad mate take the lead.

"The outpost I was stationed on got attacked by the Geth. We're hunting the Turian responsible and were hoping you could give us some insight."

"I heard about the attack." Alec sighed, recalling some of the soldiers stationed near Arcturus at the time. "I'm not sure how much more I can add."

"The data they stole was on a project you worked on called pathfinder." Shepard cut in. "Do you have any idea what would make the data so valuable to someone working with the Geth?"

"That's hard to say." Alec shrugged. "The project was more in line with enhancing the human body by networking functions with that of an artificial intelligence. The Geth are advanced enough but I don't see why they would want to co-inhabit an organic body."

Shepard ran over the possibilities in her mind. With Saren's Spectre access, he could've known about the incident that blacklisted the Ryders without actually having access to the research itself. That would've prompted his attack on Scott's outpost but to what end? Unlike Liara, Saren had no way of having Alec continue his work. The Geth have their own shells already with Saren's true goal being to bring back the Reapers. Was this how he intended to do it?

"Alec, was there any progress made on the project that wasn't mentioned in the data?" Shepard prompted.

"Are you accusing me of going behind the Alliance and Council's back with something as dangerous as artificial intelligence?"

"I'm not interested in trudging up the past, Alec." Shepard told him firmly. "But I need to know if our target has any incentive to pursue your research further."

"The answer is no. Goyle and the Council made it clear with no exceptions. Regardless, the resources needed to continue would be outside of my access. Satisfied?"

Shepard deferred to Scott with a quick look. A small gesture told her they were done for the moment. "I am. Thank you for your cooperation." Samantha emphasized before heading back towards the elevator.

"Scott." Alec called out. "Any idea when you'll be accepting that job offer I told you about?"

"Sorry, it'll have to wait until we take care of Shepard's rogue Spectre. I'll be in touch as soon as I'm able, dad." Scott added as he followed Shepard.

The two stood in the elevator, silence creeping in as the doors slid closed.

"I didn't realize you had other prospects, Ryder." Shepard commented.

"I'm more inclined to stay on the Normandy for as long as she'll have me." Scott answered back. "Saren or no Saren."

"I'm happy to hear that." Shepard turned the conversation towards a lighter topic. "Your mother seems to like me, at least."

After a moment smiling to himself, Scott allowed himself an honest remark. "Of course she does. You're smart, thoughtful, good in a firefight... easy on the eyes."

"Is that a professional opinion, Specialist?"

"Just stating facts..."

"Is that so?" Sam wondered as the elevator arrived at the ground floor. Just before the doors slid open, she leaned in and gave Scott a quick peck on his cheek.

With his heart beating twice as fast in half as much time, Scott felt Samantha's lips long after they left his skin.

Tali and Garrus awaited them at the lobby. Shepard exited first, passing between her companions. "Alright team, let's get to it."

Garrus clicked his mandibles at Ryder's frozen expression. "You coming, Ryder?"

Scott cleared his throat after shaking off the stupor. "Yeah... Wouldn't miss it."


	8. Weathered Concerns

**Chapter** **Eight: **Weathered Concerns

* * *

With the weather outside still the same belligerent blizzard, pounding away at the reinforced windows, shore leave on Noveria was looking less and less promising.

The crew had more or less agreed, with their race against time still looming, that time spent getting to the Citadel would be time they could otherwise use how they wanted while still on Noveria. Despite the snow and shifty company, the crew made the most of their break. Shepard made sure no one left the dock without a quick word on keeping their eyes peeled for trouble, even after the Rachni were dealt with.

Or technically, after the queen was released. Contemplating the mission, Ryder couldn't help but agree with Kaidan on the matter. It was difficult to make a judgement call on the Rachni Queen without having been in either war at the time. The two got along better than he expected though, Scott thought to himself as they shared a drink by the hotel bar.

"Look, Kaidan." Scott continued. "I'm not saying you couldn't wipe the floor with me. But one bad headache and suddenly, the L3 has the advantage."

"That's if you stay conscious long enough for me to have one in the first place." Kaidan took a long sip. "Which seem like bad odds anyway you slice it to me, Scott."

Scott swallowed the drink, close to doing a spit take from the smile that cracked his face. "Alright, fair enough... Biotics or not though, I really hope this Rachni business doesn't come back to bite us."

"I don't see how it won't." Kaidan stated firmly. "Whether its the Council, Krogan, or the Rachni... someone's going to have a bone to pick."

"You don't believe the queen's promise?" Scott inquired.

"No more than I'd believe the Thorian if it made the same promise." Kaidan admitted. "But I want to believe she meant it. And Shepard's always been a good judge of character, aliens included."

Scott held his glass with one hand over the top and spun the contents with a light gesture. Examining the blue and orange mixture, he probed Kaidan further, "I'm more worried about that Cerberus group. Using Rachni, Thorian creepers... I get the feeling we haven't seen the last of them."

"After what they did to Kahoku... The Alliance has its work cut out for them." Kaidan lamented.

Scott placed his drink down after another swallow. "That's if they're not busy fighting for that Council seat."

"You don't think they should?" Kaidan wondered out loud.

"There's not a lot of sense in getting a promotion if your desk is on fire." Scott pointed out. "Sure, you'd get a new desk. But that leaves a lot to be desired."

Kaidan spoke into his glass as he prepared to take another drink. "That's definitely going to be grounds for 'unsatisfactory performance' under humanity's quarterly evaluation."

His drink emptied, Scott slid the glass away. "Can't tell you how many times I've seen that in my file."

"You ask me, Scott. Those files don't paint a full picture." Kaidan told him. "Shepard saw something worth bringing onto the Normandy. File or not, I've see you in action long enough to know any of the crew would be lucky to have you covering them; present company included."

Ryder raised his hand for the bartender to refill Kaidan's glass. "Next one's on me, Alenko." Scott left his stool after checking the time on his omni-tool.

"Not sticking around, Ryder?" Kaidan asked as the Asari bartender poured.

"I promised I'd meet someone." Scott mentioned as he paid for the drink. "Don't wait up."

Making his way to the elevator, it wasn't long before Ryder was meandering around the mezzanine below the docks. He was early, content to admire the tenacious weather blasting away at the corporate windows. Hands in his pockets, he thought to back to his earliest memories of a white Christmas. Strange to say waiting in the mezzanine felt similar.

Snapping out of his nostalgic haze, he noticed Liara sitting off and down to the side by herself.

Ryder approached her, leaning into her line of sight as a courtesy. "Hey Liara... you doing okay?"

"Ryder." Liara seemed to be in her own stupor by her surprised tone. "I'm sorry... I was distracted. I'm doing fine... as far as I can tell."

"I'm sorry." Ryder repeated. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'm just surprised to see you off the ship; the good kind of surprised, though."

"I thought it would help to get some air..." Liara stared out into the blustering tundra. "Though it's been difficult to come by."

"Mind if I join you?" When she nodded, he joined her on the bench, releasing a sigh. "Do they have weather like this where you're from?"

"In some places, yes." Liara conveyed. "My mother being who she was, there was little time for exotic trips."

"Same goes for me." Ryder echoed. "Both of my parents always had work that kept us in once place or another. Sometimes, I'd wonder if it would've been better to have a normal childhood."

Liara kept her hands locked together on her lap. "As did I... Although, in time, I came to understand the choices she had made. Were it any other way, I do not think I would be who I am now. And I am thankful for that."

Ryder leaned back, absorbing her words, "I guess anyway you look at it, we're the products of their efforts."

"The product... but not the conclusion." Liara managed to express. "Like a thesis, for example. There can be dozens of implications of conclusive research. But what it's ultimately used towards... that lies in the hands of those who take up the work."

"And here we are..." Ryder motioned to the bench below them, "You know Liara, I think Benezia would be proud of what you're accomplishing. Maybe she couldn't stop Saren the way she meant to. But we can."

"Thank you, Ryder... I should return to the Normandy." Liara stood facing the direction towards the docks. "I'm sure your family is proud of you as well, Scott."

Left alone once more, Ryder retained his seat, thinking on Liara's belief in his family. Sara had always been at his heels, despite being older. As much as it had annoyed him, he understood her previous words were said out of a longing to be closer to her only sibling. His father, for all his faults, wanted to keep the family together. Scott was mad at Alec for many reasons, but never for not caring enough.

"Sorry I'm late." Shepard spoke from behind the bench. Her deep red hair hung down as she leaned over the back of the bench. Scott hadn't seen her dressed casually before. She was almost always in her military fatigues. The civilian look flattered her. "Didn't miss me too much, I hope." She added.

"I managed, somehow." Scott teased. "So, what's on the agenda?"

"If I'm being honest, I have no idea." She confessed. "Noveria's not exactly a great tourist spot."

"Lucky for you then, I'm easy to please." He said while turning back to the blizzard. "Views like this were my favorite place to hang out back on the outpost. Whenever I needed to clear my head, I'd just stare out into space."

Shepard vaulted over the bench and sat a mere few inches away. "Back on Mindoir, there was this big hill away from town... you could see the sunset clear over the whole colony. With barely any light pollution, the stars were always out."

"Do you ever think about trying it again?" Ryder asked her before clarifying. "Colony life, I mean."

Samantha folder her arms, keeping her fingers close to her skin. She gave a light shrug, "Sometimes, but... I'm not much of a farmer. And I'm not sure I'd want to retire from service just to pick up a gun as security."

"Fair enough," Scott relented. "What would you want to do? If you had the choice."

Samantha felt her body get warmer from the spotlight she felt envelope her. "You don't really want me to bore you with that, do you?"

"Boring is not something I associate with the first human Spectre." Scott declared. "Try me."

Samantha released a long breath, "Before I took my first assignment, I studied for a psychology degree... counseling."

Scott put a hand on her shoulder. "I can't think of anyone more qualified to be a colonial counselor." Shepard seemed disconnected from the conversation. "Really, I think it suits you. You're the first person the crew goes to when there's a problem. Or anyone goes to, for that matter."

"Scott, that's sweet but..." She exhaled another sigh, "You remember what happened when I helped that girl from Mindoir... I was a mess afterwards."

"It's okay to not be okay sometimes, Sam. It doesn't mean you're not good enough to chase a dream." Scott explained as he walked over to the railing. "If it did, I'd be stuck with Alliance forever."

Sam joined his they leaned over the side, admiring the view. "Let's say I believe you... what kind of dreams are you holding onto, Ryder?"

"You're gonna laugh..." He warned.

Preemptively containing her mirth, Shepard allayed his fears. "I promise not to laugh." She finished saying with a raised hand.

Looking away for a moment, Scott gave up on his hesitant stance. "I wanted to be a super hero." He said, muttering the last part.

Lifting her eyebrows in surprise, Sam started her follow up questions. "Like with a cape? And your underwear on the outside?"

Scott shook his head, immediately regretting his admission of a childhood fancy. "No, not like that. As a kid, all I knew were that heroes always did the right thing and were surrounded by people that cared about them. I guess I wanted a piece of that."

"Looks like your dream came true." Sam said with a jab of her elbow.

"Oh yeah." He agreed sarcastically. "Between being blacklisted and my stellar service record, I'm right out of a comic book."

"Scott, there's not a moment that goes by when you aren't at least trying to do the right thing." Samantha told him as she turned his body to face her, inches apart. "And I can't speak for everyone but... I care about you."

Air caught in Ryder's lungs while his heart pumped against his rib cage. He wanted to respond, to say that he felt the same. Instead, he froze underneath the gaze of her emerald eyes.

"Sam..." Scott started to say. "If you hadn't taken a chance on me-"

"I don't gamble, Scott." She interrupted. "I knew I had someone worth my time when I asked you on." A smile appeared on her face as she lowered her gaze. "Well, maybe I didn't know it'd turn out like this... but I'm not complaining."

"Neither am I but... I'm not looking to complicate things for you, Shepard."

"Little late for that." The Commander pointed out. "Besides, what's wrong with a little complication? It keeps things interesting." Despite her attempts at humor, he still seemed stiff. "What's holding you back, Scott?"

"It's just that I've been here before." He explained. "There was someone back at the outpost... Andy. We got close and when the Ryder blacklist came down... things got tense."

"Scott, you know me." Sam assured him. "I wouldn't let what your father did change how I see you."

"That's the thing," Scott started to elaborate further. "I told you my dad wasn't around enough for me to hold a grudge. But trying to save our mother, even by breaking the law... I would've done the same thing if it was someone I cared about."

Scott ran a hand through his hair, the admission finally escaping his mind. His voice faltered as he continued, "Andy called me an idiot. She said I spent too much time following how I feel without thinking it through. And until I realized that, she refused to keep me in a position where I might choose her over what's right."

"So, she ended it, just like that?" Sam asked with disbelief.

"Like I said, things got tense." Scott shrugged. "I haven't thought about being with anyone since then. Maybe she was right."

Nodding her head along with his story, Shepard stood patiently in front of him. Letting a brief pause pass after he spoke, she took his hand in hers.

"Scott..." Sam said she ran her thumb over the top of his fingers. She moved his hand to her cheek, letting him feel the warmth behind her freckles. "You've helped keep me together when I had my doubts. You don't need me or anyone to tell you what's right; you already know."

Ryder eyes darted from his hand on her cheek, and the narrowing space between them. "And if I said I cared about you enough to break a few Alliance regulations..." He admitted while his thoughts trailed away.

"I'd trust you'd have a very tempting reason for doing so." She responded while biting softly on her lip. "I know I do."

Inching closer to his Commander's lips, Scott's hand brushed away her hair falling between them. "I thought I was supposed to be your reality check."

"I don't mind letting this dream take its course a while longer." Sam confessed as her arms went around his neck.

"I think I'm on the end of that Shepard charm you warned me about."

Sam shrugged, mockingly offering a wicked smirk. "Took you long enough... but I don't kiss on a first date."

Without a second thought, Scott stole a kiss on the cheek his hand had been covering. Backing up like a thief in broad daylight, Ryder grinned from ear to ear. "Then we should finish this date so we can start planning the next one."

More impressed than she was caught off guard, Shepard pursued him with a sway in her hips. "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

Hello! Me again. Sorry for the delay between this entry and the last. I tend to try and pad out enough content in advance so that I can still update the story even when I haven't gotten a chance to write in a while. Life and other projects kept me busy. Thanks in advance for any reviews and for taking the time to read!

Still not sure what I'm working on after this but I definitely intend to do another banter exercise at some point (probably Mass Effect 2 with Ryder meeting all the companions after the events of this story).


	9. Survivors

The assault on Virmire hit a snag after dropping the improvised bomb at its designated spot. With Ashley and the Salarians pinned down by the Geth, Shepard was forced to leave Kaidan to defend the now active bomb on his own. Refusing to abandon her lieutenant to Saren's forces, she turned to Specialist Ryder at the ready.

"Ryder," Samantha Shepard said with the day's efforts having dragged her voice through the dirt. "Think you can cover Alenko until we get back?"

Scott scanned the surrounding structures until he spotted one tall enough for the job. Turning back, he replied, "Consider it done, Commander."

Ryder sprinted off towards a maintenance ladder leading to his vantage point. As he climbed, he could hear Shepard lead the rest of the squad onward. After a minute's climb, Ryder pulled himself to the top of the structure and readied his rifle on a small perch. Scoping in, Scott found Kaidan hidden behind solid cover.

"Kaidan, this is Ryder. I've got eyes on you from above."

"Ryder?" Kaidan looked around in confusion until he finally spotted the glint in the Specialist's scope. "This bomb is set to blow soon! Get out while you can!"

Moving his rifle down stream of the bomb's position, Ryder spotted and dropped two oncoming Geth troopers in quick succession.

"Funny." Scott punctuated with another round fired into a drone, sending it spiraling into a nearby wall in a ball of fire. "I was about to say the same to you."

"Someone has to guard this thing from the Geth!" Kaidan hollered while firing his pistol from behind cover. "We can't take the chance of it being disarmed!"

Ryder pulled the trigger another three times, forcing his rifle to cool down once the Geth juggernaut finally hit the deck in pieces.

"Do you have to be right on top of it?!" Ryder asked, venting his gun in frustration.

The Lieutenant must've held a small smirk as he replied, "It's working isn't-

An explosion rocked Kaidan from his safe spot and towards the bomb. His cover had been blown by a timely grenade and left him crawling backwards toward the bomb with one hand firing into the oncoming Geth.

"Kaidan!" Ryder called out as he waited for his weapon to cool.

Thinking quickly, Scott readied a grenade of his own. Charging the explosive with just enough biotic energy, Ryder skipped it into the distance. With his aim more or less on point, the explosive wiped a herd of Geth from the field. He repeated the idea with as many grenades as he had saved up by that point.

"Shepard!" Ryder chirped in over his comm unit. He was almost out of explosives and his rifle wouldn't do much to thin the growing number of Geth marching towards the bomb. "Kaidan's hit! Where are you?"

With his last grenade in hand, a stray Geth drone flew past him. As it went by it peppered his shields with a brief volley of gunfire. His shields held firm but the attack staggered him enough to drop the charged grenade. About halfway down his structure, the explosion went off and blew the supports clean off.

As Ryder went down with the structure, he could see Kaidan still firing at the Geth. Scott hit the ground, somehow avoiding the debris that rained down around him. His vision darkened from the impact and he could barely find his bearings.

"Shepard, we're out of time!" Joker yelled over their collective frequency.

Somewhere above him, Scott could hear the sound of Geth plasma fire hitting a biotic field. Soon after, he felt a pair of large, coarse hands saddle him onto a thick shoulder. He felt himself being moved as the sounds of battle echoed all around him. Suddenly, mechanical gears closed in around his senses as a new hand lifted his head.

"Ryder, are... there? Can... me?" The voice was dipping in and out as they addressed him.

The mechanical churning around him ended as he felt sunlight on his back. The sounds of battle faded away as the Normandy's engines overwhelmed his senses. His vision darkened again as he blacked out, succumbing to his injuries.

* * *

Without a measure of how much time must've passed, Scott felt his body start to stir from his slumber. Dressed back in causal fatigues, his muscles still ached underneath as they recovered from their recent trauma.

His eyes opened first, soaking in the sight of the med bay as he was lying down on his back. Chakwas was by her desk and by his side was Shepard, eyes cast down as she fiddled with her hands.

Ryder's ears appeared to have been undamaged as he recognized his voice as soon as he attempted to talk. "Sam?"

His redheaded Commander snapped to attention and got to her feet, hands at the edge of his bed.

"Easy, Scott. You're back on the Normandy." Shepard told him.

Scott struggled to sit up straight. The pain shooting through his spine sent him back down as he held in a groan.

"Yes," Dr. Chakwas confirmed from her desk. "And if you don't lie still, your wounds won't recover properly."

"That bad?" Ryder inquired.

"Not the worst I've seen but I wouldn't push my luck if I were you." Chakwas chided him but without her usual teasing demeanor.

"Doctor, could you give us a moment?" Shepard said as she crossed her arms.

Chakwas gave a polite nod, "Of course, Commander." She said as she walked out to the mess

Turning back to her downed squad mate, Shepard eased off the tension held up by her shoulders. "You scared me back there, Specialist."

"I didn't mean to worry you." Scott admitted as he tried to relax.

"I'm letting it slide on account of your stellar track record." Sam sat back down, visibly tired and on the verge of delivering what felt like bad news. "I wanted to debrief you myself."

"The last thing I remember was falling from that tower..." Scott tried to recall. "How's Kaidan?"

Samantha went quiet, steeling herself as she tucked a strand of hair behind her right ear. "Scott... We tried falling back but by the time we found you there were too many Geth and... Kaidan didn't make it."

"What?" Scott said as he tried to move again in vain. "No, I saw him, he was there. He was still fighting. I-I had him covered and..."

Slowly understanding what the Commander was imparting to him with her eyes, Scott stopped trying to rationalize it. Balling his hands into fists, Ryder fought off the tight strain in his chest and welling behind his eyes.

"I should've been down there, if I went down sooner and grabbed him-I could've- he'd be..."

"Ryder, what happened to Kaidan was my call, not yours." She said sternly, struggling to say her late squad mate's name.

Having the same conversation with Ashley was one thing but with Scott, Sam felt more than just professional concern. While unavoidable, Sam didn't wish the same trauma and guilt of outlasting your friends to stick to Ryder like it did her.

"It was my job to keep him covered while you went for Ashley and the Salarians." Scott relayed with his eyes unable to meet hers. "It's my fault-"

"It's your fault that an explosion knocked you from your vantage point?" Shepard pressed him. "Wrex and I carried you to safety and made the best of a bad situation on Virmire. It's Saren's fault, not yours."

"I'm here and he's not." Scott said. "How am I supposed to be okay with that?"

"You can't." Sam said as her hand touched his. "Scott, you did everything you could. Sometimes... we can't save everyone, no matter how much we wish or think we could."

Ryder nodded his head, agreeing but wishing still that he had done the impossible. "Sorry... You probably have enough on your plate without adding me into the mix."

Shepard felt his hand hold tight onto hers. She squeezed back, saying, "I know it's hard. Honestly, keeping you in the mix has kept me from overthinking this whole thing."

"How do you mean?" Scott asked.

"Kaidan was a good soldier and a friend. I've lost a lot of both in this line of work." Sam told him. "Talking with you helped me remember that doesn't have to define me. Instead of punishing myself, I can work toward honoring the ones we lost."

Ryder mulled over her admission, exhaling a long breath. "How do I honor Kaidan?"

Shepard locked eyes with him, her green eyes softly aware of how they pierced through him. "We finish what he started. We take down Saren and make the galaxy a bit safer."

Scott nodded along, his eyes staring back and swelling with determination. "I can do that... it just... still doesn't feel real... you know?"

"I know." Shepard assured him. "For now, just focus on getting better. We're going to need everyone at their best once we report back to the Citadel."

"The Council's ready to move on Saren?" Scott inquired.

"We'll see." Shepard tilted her head. "We've got a lock on where he's headed: a planet called Ilos out in the Terminus."

"That's a tall order." Scott replied with eyes widened. Then he shrugged and said, "But I'm ready when you are."

"Good to know." Sam managed a smile as she said it. She glanced back at the doors to med-bay. "There was one more thing."

"What is it?"

"Can you sit up straighter?" He confirmed, propped up against the back wall. "Put your arms out." She demonstrated and he followed along, holding his position while confused. "Maybe tilt your head to the side?"

As he finished doing as instructed, Shepard smiled. Satisfied, she dove in for a hug without warning. She nestled into his shoulder with her chin, pulling him into a tight embrace and refusing to let go.

Surprised but still melting into the hug, Ryder said, "Sam?"

"I'm just glad you're alive." The Commander confessed.

"Sorry, I'm pretty hard to get rid of." He teased.

"Good." Sam whispered.


	10. The Last Stop

After being grounded by Udina and disregarded by the Council, Shepard retreated back to the Normandy. Defeated by back room politics left her sullen as she sat beneath the lockers in the mess hall beside the cryo-pods.

Ryder came along in short order, hoping to pull her from her sunken state.

"You know," Scott started saying. "I always thought I was too hard on Udina for just doing his job... but he's an easy guy to hate."

"Tell me about it." Shepard replied. "Saren's still out there and he's already taking the win."

"Well, I'm not much of a sports guy, Sam." Scott confessed as he bent down to meet her. "But I'd say we've still got some time before the clock runs out."

"Not while the only ship that can get us to Ilos is grounded." Shepard said. "Short of storming the docks with all our guns, that isn't going to change."

"You know, that reminds of this Commander I had..." Scott began telling her. "Human Spectre, red hair, gorgeous, but smart and always got the job done."

"Oh yeah?" Shepard said, playing along. "What happened to her?"

"She settled down with some guy; charming but mostly funny, good with a rifle, better with words." Ryder elaborated.

"Is that so? And was he also a Specialist?"

"Used to be." Ryder confirmed. "Quit the Alliance to make things easier for his Commander."

Sam raised her eyebrows at that, "Just for her?"

"Well, he had other reasons too. She just happen to be the best thing that ever happened to him." Scott shrugged. "But more to the point, when something got in the way of her doing the right thing, she did the impossible. It didn't matter how many times she got knocked down, she wasn't out for long."

"Honestly, the resemblance is uncanny." Ryder said before standing back up. He waited for her to take his extended hand. "Feel like meeting her?"

Shepard smirked, impressed at the drawn out word play. "Not sure. Seems like we'd have too much in common. First it'll be my mission, then my ship, pretty soon she'll have her claws into you if I look the other way."

"Can't say I blame you." Scott said. "I guess you'll just have to save the day and keep a close eye on me the whole way through."

Shepard eyed her Specialist carefully but was overall happy to see he was in better spirits. "I was getting tired of sitting here anyways." Sam told him.

She took his hand, lurching forward and up. The two of them almost had their torsos collide. They found their footing in time and proceeded to stare into each other's eyes, still holding each other by the arms. With their hands reaching around the other's waist, they leaned in close. Lips parting slightly, the two were a breath away from each other. Their foreheads met softly, moving in for the next subtle, intimate moment.

"Commander? Captain Anderson has a message for you." Joker cut in over the intercom. The two stopped before meeting lips and pulled apart.

Shepard tapped her foot as she spoke up towards the ceiling. "Really, Joker?"

"Did I interrupt something?" The pilot asked without sarcasm. "I just figured you were on the ship and wanted to pass along the message."

"Which would be?" Sam asked, wanting to hurry along the moment.

"Just that he wants to meet in that bar down in the wards, Flux, I think?"

"Thanks, Joker. Tell him I'll be there." Sam replied, unwilling to break eye contact with Ryder. When she heard Joker click off the intercom, she walked past Scott with a sway in her step. "Don't think we're done here, Specialist."

"Promise?" Ryder called after her as she waved him off, ascending the stairs up to the bridge.

* * *

Aboard the Normandy, all was quiet with the lights dimmed to a dull, blurry buzzing just out of earshot. Everyone had heard what happened, post-Virmire. A moment of silence turned into hours of grieving in honor of Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Thanks to Shepard, the crew was able to turn that grief into something they could use; an unbreakable tip to the spear she was ready to launch against Saren's forces.

Step one to that plan involved Ryder and Garrus skulking around the Normandy's docking bay. Scott was sat below the guard rail, hood tucked over his head as he watched his Turian squad mate pace back and forth.

"Relax, Garrus." Ryder told him again. "You're making it look like we're up to something."

Garrus stopped to lean over, close enough to whisper his anxiety. "We are up to something. How can you be so calm?"

"Because it doesn't matter who it is, Udina or the Council, no one's stopping us from doing the right thing." Ryder told him simply, his eyes glancing at the huddle of C-Sec guards standing watch over their vessel.

Garrus clicked his mandibles. "Funny, knowing that just puts me on edge..." He joined Scott in looking over at the officers. "Not looking forward to going up against C-Sec if this doesn't work out though."

Ryder tilted his head, "You don't think we could take them?"

The Turian crossed him arms. "I don't know... could be trouble if one more shows up."

"Then that'll be the one I take care of." The Specialist assured him.

Garrus arched his brow, "What, you're fighting too, Ryder? We'll have to rethink this whole plan of attack..."

Muffled elevator music came from the other side of the docks. The lift emptied out with the Commander, Ashley, and Liara hurrying past the C-Sec officers. Giving Scott and Garrus a wink and nod to follow them into the Normandy. The crew all entered the airlock as it equalized the air pressure.

Ryder crept up besides the commander, raising his brow. "So?" He said. "We expecting trouble?"

Shepard removed her helmet as the doors opened. "We're about to find out." She continued through to the cockpit with Ryder in tow. "Anything yet, Joker?"

"Trust me, Commander. We get the green light, you'll be the first to know." The pilot assured her.

The rest of the Normandy was on pins and needles as they awaited the go ahead from Anderson. Shepard hoped her decision to have the Captain handle things from Udina's office was the right one. A snag in the plan would earn them far worse than being grounded. Although, despite the Normandy being Alliance property, Shepard reasoned being a Spectre gave her cause to do whatever was necessary to accomplish her mission. The irony of having to go against the Council's wishes in order chase another rogue Spectre was not lost on her.

When the signal finally came, the Normandy sped out of the system before the Citadel even had an inkling they had left dry dock. C-Sec was none the wiser but Udina's jaw would have a lasting impression of Captain Anderson's right hook.

With time to spare until they reached Ilos, Shepard retired to the Captain's quarters. The crew went about their duties and preparations. Ryder, meanwhile, found himself outside Shepard's door working up the courage to step inside. Hesitantly, he brought himself to announce his presence with a knock.

"Come in," Shepard replied as she sat at her terminal. Turning around, she was elated to find Ryder standing there. "Everything alright, Scott?"

"As good as it can be." He admitted. "After checking my gear about ten times, I realized I didn't really have anywhere else to be."

Samantha stood and met him halfway across the room. "I happen to like where you are right now."

"Good to know..." Scott said as he nervously scratched at his head, "Shepard... Sam, I needed to tell you... being here on the Normandy has been everything I didn't know I needed."

"The Normandy's been lucky to have you, Scott." She said sincerely before adding, "I've never been happier to have stopped in at a relay station."

"I'm grateful you did." He replied with a laugh. Scott's tone turned serious again. "I've been jumping between systems, stations, and ships all my life but this... this has been the first place that's felt like home."

"I know the feeling." Sam confessed. "It's been hard to think about settling down again. But when I'm around you... it's hard not to."

"Really?" Scott's smile was eager, hopeful even, but he reeled it in. "Not that I'm trying to talk you out of it but we're walking a tough road, Sam. Tying yourself to me might be the end of your Alliance career."

Sam shrugged. "I like being a Spectre more."

"They still might court martial us over taking the Normandy." Ryder added. "And I don't think they'll be nice enough to give us adjoining cells."

"They'd have to catch us first, Scott."

He smiled to himself, taking a moment to appreciate the tenacity of his Commander. "Well, I've got no regrets... except one."

"What might that be?" Shepard prodded.

"Telling you how much you mean to me." Scott admitted. "That no matter what happens, I want you to know that I don't plan on being anywhere else... not as long as you're around."

"Scott, you don't how much it means to hear you say that." Shepard admitted. "And how much it scares me. I haven't been this close to anyone since Mindoir. I'm still trying to remember to forget the bad parts of my life. But now that I'm with you... I can't help but worry that you're next."

"You can't know that." Scott tried to reason.

"My family, my squad on Akuze, Jenkins, Alenko." Shepard listed off. "I've done my best to move forward and honor them but you can only ignore a pattern for so long."

"You're not going to scare me off, Sam. The truth is, I don't believe in bad luck. It's why I beat myself up after Kaidan... except I had you there to talk some sense into me. So, whether you're afraid to have me here or not, I'm not leaving your side."

"Then..." Sam started to say softly as she crept closer. "You wouldn't mind staying with me a little longer?"

"Need a reality check, Sam?"

Shepard shook her head. "The truth is... you're one of the best things that's happened to me in a while too. And I'd like to show you how much, if you don't mind."

"I thought you didn't kiss until date number three?" Scott questioned with sarcasm under his tone.

"I guess I just wanted to see how patient you could be." She revealed with her hands up in defense. "Color me impressed."

"I had a feeling it'd be worth the wait." Scott admitted as they stood inches apart.

Sam leaned in behind his ear for a whisper. "Ready to find out?"

Scott tightened his hold on the inspirational woman in front of him and replied, "Wouldn't miss it."


	11. For The Holidays

After months of the Citadel recovering from Saren's attack, the denizens of both the wards and Presidium breathed out as the holidays came around. While humans celebrated their usual array of traditions per that particular section of the calendar, the other species had their own pockets of culture that turned the whole of the Citadel into one grand festivity during that time of year.

Stepping off the elevator with numerous jingles jumbled through their heads, both Ryder and Shepard kept a steady pace towards their intended destination. The two of them were dressed in civilian clothes for once, making the most of their shore leave far and away from any Geth.

Shepard wore a wool, button up jacket, colored red and green. It was her mother's. Wearing it instilled in her a sense of protection when she was away from the rank and file of infantry, ships, and Alliance issued orders.

"Remind me again why I'm so nervous?" Samantha asked Scott as they kept a steady stride, Sam just barely falling behind her crew mate.

Scott, on the other hand, was clear and away more comfortable in civilian attire than he was otherwise. Retaining an teal, non-Alliance hoodie, he was wrapped with a black cardigan and beanie atop his head. He was careful to allow the smallest tuft of hair to show out from underneath, smiling as he began walking backwards to address his commander.

"You've never met your boyfriend's parents?" Ryder replied.

"Once?" Sam struggled to remember amid her growing anxiety. "I was fifteen, I think."

Ryder put his arm around his girlfriend's waist as they continued their walk. "You're gonna be fine, Sam."

"I know," Shepard relented. "I'm overthinking it "

"Which is also one of the reasons I like you so much. So, don't be hard on yourself." Scott assured her. The two soon arrived at the front door to an apartment. The words welcome lying below them on a mat as a wreath hung on the door. "Besides, how is anyone going to not like the woman who saved the Citadel, never mind the galaxy, from a Reaper?"

"I'm not anxious to find out." She told him as she scrunched up her face.

Scott knocked on the door with several raps of his hand. "Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole night."

"Alright, but I'm still only giving you your gift after we leave." Sam reminded him.

"Not even a hint on what it is?"

"Do you really want to ruin the surprise?" Shepard asked.

"No." He chuckled. "I'm just really curious. I'm apparently hard to get gifts for."

"Not on my watch." Sam winked, leaning in closer.

Their almost intimate moment was interrupted when Sara Ryder swung open the door to her apartment. "You guys made it!" She said, filled with more enthusiasm than when Scott had last seen her.

Scott raised a confused eyebrow, "Sara, it's Christmas Eve. Of course we made it."

"Scott, you've blown me off on my birthday." Sara reminded him with an arched brow right back. "We're twins."

Suddenly feeling the tension ease off as the Ryder twins ribbed one another, Shepard leaned in to give Sara a hug.

"It's good to see you, Sara." Sam said during their embrace. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm good." Sara informed her with confidence. She eyed her twin's easy going smile. "I see you've been keeping my brother together."

Sam delivered an exaggerated shrug, "A couple pats on the head and a few, 'good jobs,' here and there go a long way."

Scott rolled his eyes but went with the joke at his expense. "I have simple needs." He told them both.

The Commander leaned her head into his shoulder as if to remind him she was kidding. He nonchalantly kissed the side of her head as if he had done it a thousand times.

"Come on, let's get you two inside before the neighbors see." Sara jibed.

The trio entered the Ryder twin's abode. Scott and Sam shed their jackets and hung them on a nearby stand. Shepard was reluctant to part with her 'armor' but bit the bullet in the end. They wound up following Sara into the dining room with four places set.

"Dad!" Sara called out. "Scott and Sam are here!"

"I'll be right out!" Alec answered from the kitchen. "Food's almost up! Have a seat and grab a drink!"

Sara leaned by through the small window connecting the two rooms. "Need any help?" She asked.

They saw a oven mitt wave off the offer amid a few smoke trails. "I've got it, Sara, don't worry."

Sara nodded and went to take her seat opposite the couple. Scott whispered loud enough for the three of them alone to hear.

"How's he been?"

"Honestly?" Sara replied. "He's been fine. A little stir crazy but dad's never had idle hands."

"He hasn't talked about her at all?" Scott probed.

"Not since he told us over the extra-net line." Sara shrugged. "I don't know what to make of it."

Shepard moved further along the table to be better heard, "I'm sure your dad is just trying to cope. Everyone handles loss differently. He's an adult, I'm sure when he's ready; he'll open about it."

"I hope so." Scott told her. "Dad's never been one for conversation."

"Who wants pie?" Alec announced as he entered the dining room with a large tray. After placing down the pristine pastry, he shook his oven mitts off and became aware of the eyes upon him. "What? You don't like pie?"

"I thought we were having dinner first?" Sara said.

Alec assumed the seat beside his daughter, "We're all adults here. I figured after everything that's happened we've all earned an early desert." He gestured to Shepard as he cut into the pie. "And I hope you like take out. Ellen was the better cook, I had the sweet tooth."

"I practically live off it." Shepard assured the family.

"Good answer." Alec chuckled. "How's the Normandy been treating both of you?"

"She's seen the crew through anything the traverse has thrown at us." Shepard happily stated. "I couldn't ask for a better ship."

"I heard how you slipped away from C-Sec dry dock." Alec grinned. "Any chance the Alliance will be rolling out those stealth drives for everyone?"

"Not for a few years, at least." Shepard reported. She found it easier to talk shop than go into the finer details of her new relationship. And to be honest, she was grateful for the conversation. "Turians co-developed the tech so it won't be exclusive either."

"Still, the Alliance could use any edge," Alec noted. "But there's no sense in rushing off half-cocked. Good things take time to polish off."

"And now comes the part where he segues into a personal story..." Sara anticipated.

"Alright, alright. I can take a hint." Alec admitted. "Scott, did you happen to look over those files I sent you? It's about that offer I mentioned before."

Scott let out a short sigh, "Dad, I know I said I'd think about it... but I already put in my papers with the Alliance. In a month, I'll technically be working as a Citadel agent under Anderson.

"And that's great, Scott, I mean it. You did more than earn it." His father congratulated him. "But, I'd like you to hear me out, all the same."

Shepard nudged Scott from under the table before adding, "There's no harm in it, Scott."

"Thank you, Sam." Alec said.

Scott nodded for him to go on ahead. "Alright, what's the offer?"

"Well," Alec began. "Let me start by apologizing to you both. I was... less than honest when you approached me during your hunt for Saren. There was work still being done on my A.I. project after the axe came down. But it never went anywhere. Without the resources, it was never more than a fancy science fair experiment."

"I'm guessing that changed." Scott interrupted, somewhat agitated that his father had lied to them.

"It did." Alec revealed. "A woman, Jien Garson, came to me in the hopes of advancing my project so it could be used for an expedition of sorts."

"What kind of expedition would need a smart A.I.?" Shepard inquired.

"A long one." Sara told her. "I couldn't really wrap my head around it at first when dad told me but the quick thinking and processing of an A.I. would be a major advantage in a part of space no one's ever been to before."

"It's a colonial expedition." Alec told his son. "Garson is funding a private initiative to give humanity roots in an unexplored region."

"Wait, the Council's barred any activation of dormant relays." Scott reminded him. "Even if they turned a blind eye to the A.I. research, the Council won't let you pop open a relay."

"Where we're going, there isn't a relay to get us there." Alec stated. "The expedition is a one way trip... to the Andromeda galaxy."

The room went silent.

Scott could only stare at his father in a confused state of disbelief. "... What?"

"They've done the math, Scott." Alec assured him. "It's not just humans, other aliens, all put into cryo-stasis until we reach a new home."

Scott turned to his twin, "And you said yes to this?"

"Hey, we can't all be big heroes." Sara countered. "This is a once in a lifetime chance. It's not like my career's got any room to grow here anyway."

"It's a one way trip, Sara." Scott emphasized.

"Dad's going, mom's gone..." Sara listed off. "As much as it'd break my heart, Scott... you'd be the only person I leave behind that mattered."

Scott sunk into his chair, "I don't know what to say."

"I know things have changed for you, Scott." Alec recognized. "I'm not asking you to switch directions. I just wanted to let you know which way the wind was blowing. With everything that's happened, I was hoping our family could start over someplace new; find a home."

Sensing Scott's growing turmoil, Shepard entered back into the talks, "The galaxy's a big place. There's plenty of colonies that could use the manpower."

"All of them either under Citadel space or at risk from the Terminus systems. I'm in the market for someplace with less baggage." Alec clarified.

"A risk is a risk, Alec." Sam emphasized. "Going into the unknown is trouble, even for an N7."

"It'll be challenge." Alec agreed before relenting. "Look, this isn't happening overnight. I just wanted to keep you updated over our future plans. No matter what, Scott, we're still a family."

Scott nodded, his thoughts on his late mother's wishes to remain a family after her passing. "You're right," He added as he raised an empty glass to his father. "Still family."

"Thank you, Scott." Alec said as he reached out to Scott's wrist. An awkward attempt at physical comfort but still appreciated. "What say we fill that glass? Come on, let's bust out the good stuff before it collects anymore dust."

* * *

As the night drew on the Ryder family celebration ended on midnight, high spirits came to a peaceful end as gifts were exchanged. A few guests had managed to stop by briefly. Namely, Ashley, Garrus, Liara, and few other faces from the Normandy.

It had been some time since Tali and Wrex were aboard the stealth frigate. Shepard sent a message to them all the same to wish them well. With the Citadel quiet, Shepard and Scott returned to their home away from the Normandy; a decent sized apartment with a view over the presidium. The presidium itself had entered well into its six-hour 'night time' cycle.

Scott stared out the window, the balcony door still closed as he breathed onto the glass. Shepard dropped off her portion of their gifts by the front door as she took notice of him. Taking off her coat, she sat on the edge of the couch nearest to him.

"You okay, Scott?"

"Just... letting it all sink in." He admitted.

Steeling her resolve, Shepard said the words she hadn't wanted say all night, "You could go... you know that, right?"

Scott swerved around to meet her downcast gaze. "What? Sam, of course I'm not going."

"They're your family, Scott. I'd understand."

Ryder took a knee beside the bed, taking her hands into his. "I told you before, the Normandy is my home. Right here is where I want to be."

"You could have a whole new life out there..." Sam continued. "I can't take you from that... from them."

"You're not." Ryder emphasized. "I've made my choice and they've made theirs. I haven't given mine a second thought. You?"

Sam rolled her eyes, "No but... I want you to do what's best for you. I'm trying to be the selfless girlfriend over here.

Scott smiled, "And you're doing a great job. But I remember someone saying they trusted me do the right thing."

"Alright, wise guy." Shepard said as shook her head. "I guess I'm stuck with you."

"Sorry to be the one to break it to you." Scott said as he shrugged.

Shepard kissed his forehead before moving over to the balcony, "Shut up and go look under the tree for your present."

Scott's went wide as he walked towards the tree in the middle of the living room. "I have been dying to find out." He walked back to her with a box she didn't recognize wrapping in one one hand. "But you first, I insist."

Leaning off the balcony glass, she took it in her hands. "Really?" Shepard laughed as she began unwrapping the gift. With the final layer of wrapping off, she found a hard cover, paper back book. "Scott... where did you find this?"

"Let me tell you, it wasn't easy finding one of the earliest accounts of Quarians leaving their home world, much less getting it copied onto a format no one uses anymore..." Ryder admitted. "But when you tell people it's for the first human Spectre, they start moving."

Shepard thumbed through the index delicately, "Scott, this account belongs to the Quarians-"

"Tali got her master copy after I offered to help track down the various accounts." Ryder assured her. "You told me how much studying Quarian culture helped you after Mindoir. So, what better gift than the introspective words of a Quarian woman who was forced to leave her home?"

Sam's eyes swelled with tears of appreciation. "I don't know what to say..."

"Does that mean you like it?" He teased.

The human Spectre dove in for a hug, still keeping one hand on her gift. "I love it..." After lingering in their embrace, she broke apart and tugged him over to their artificial tree. "Come on, open yours."

"Alright, take it easy, I'm coming." Ryder picked up the wrapped box. "Is it fragile?" He asked while lightly shaking it up to his ear.

"I just hope it works." She confided.

Opening his gift, Scott noticed the Serrice Council branding on the box. Inside was a necklace that glowed a radiant hue of blueish purple. He held it up by its chain, admiring its brilliance while the hairs on his neck stood at attention. At the end of the chain was a small glowing sphere with a wing hanging off the side. Upon closer inspection, the sphere was cut clean in half down he middle.

"It's beautiful." Scott said out loud.

"It's part of a pair." Sam revealed as she pulled out the necklace's counterpart already around her neck. "And they do something special."

"Really?"

"Really." Shepard indulged him with a smirk. "It's a device that simulates Asari mind melding by exchanging electrical signals from biotic implants. My L3 implant never generated enough results to classify me as a biotic but with some fine tuning, it still does the job."

"How have I never heard of these?" Scott asked as he began to put it on.

Sam leaned forward to help fasten the clasp around his neck. "Technically, these are prototypes. And don't worry, the eezo amount is too small to be dangerous. The special layer of metal and glass also helps block out radiation."

"I thought we agreed to a price limit?" He joked.

"First human Spectre, remember?" She fired back as they finished putting it on. "Want to go for a test run?"

"Like I'm going to say no on Christmas?" Scott told her.

The pair traveled back to the couch, resting their legs beside each other as they stared into one another's eyes. The tension crackled the air like the calm before a storm of biotic power.

"These didn't come with instructions I take it?" Scott murmured.

"Not exactly." Shepard admitted. "But I've got some experience getting the Prothean cipher from Shiala and sharing it with Liara... I didn't really have to do much though."

Sam slid their halves together, their faces inches apart as the mechanism clicked into place. The air around felt heavy and then all of a sudden was pushed away until it felt like there was none at all. Breathless, each of them watched the other's eyes dilate as their thoughts bled together.

Their hearts beat in sync, thoughts intertwined into a single strand of being, Sam and Scott tightened their hold on each other. Shepard fell through an empty void of space, head over heels until the Citadel station came into view. She fell without fear of harm, gently sailing until falling under the waters of the Presidium lake. Looking back up, Sam touched the surface of the water and found Ryder staring back at her.

On Scott's view of eternity, he was blown into a small plot of land where a colony of faceless humans stretching into the distance. He felt a warm fire grow inside him until it set the surrounding world ablaze, leaves scattered into the atmosphere. The fire seemed to take on the form of a thresher maw as it tried to consume him. But when it touched his body, it collapsed into ashes. Then, the ashes formed a glass floor with Samantha Shepard staring from the other side.

The mirrored floors became a wall, their hands pressed against one another to break through the distance. Even separated, the two felt no fear. They inched forward as if there was no glass, their lips touching through the cold void.

In an instant, the two were back in their apartment. Out of breath, they found their foreheads pressed together and their necklaces once again, left in two halves.

"Wow... okay..." Scott said as he swallowed another breath. "That was... wow..."

"Same here." Sam smirked, likewise still catching her second wind. Giving them each some breathing room, she noticed Scott still staring at her and blushed. "What?"

"I think I'm falling for you, Sam." He admitted.

Her heart did flips on the inside as she pushed her crimson hair back. Green eyes pierced through his vulnerable admission. "I think I am too, Scott."

Unable to contain the smile cracking his face, Scott continued, "All my life I felt like I've been looking for someplace to be apart of, to belong to... I look at you and it's like I'm already there... and I can't stop smiling." He added with a laugh.

"Me either." She said while giggling. "Life feels simple when I'm with you, Scott. I feel safe. For once, I want something more than I'm afraid to lose it."

"You won't." Scott promised. Then, he added, "Wanna go again, by the way?"

"Already?" Shepard laughed. "I was worried you wouldn't be able to keep up."

"Look who's talking." Ryder teased.

"How about we just... lay here... for a second first?" Sam offered.

The two cuddled up on the couch, resting in the dimly lit darkness. Scott wrapped his arm around Sam, nestling her into his chest as he said, "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

Hello! Thanks so much for anyone that enjoyed reading through my Ryder & Shepard "What If?" scenario. I'm not sure what I'll work on next but I definitely want to come back to Mass Effect again. I'd like to take this story further by putting Ryder into the events of ME2, maybe do another banter exercise where he gets to meet and chat up the squad mates on board at the time.

I don't typically write just romance pieces so any feedback is more than welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to running a YouTube channel where I'm desperately trying to finish streaming Mass Effect Andromeda (Link in my bio if you're curious!).

Thanks again! Feel free to respond with any suggestions on future projects. Might do a poll on twitter at some point.


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